These are various articles that don't really fit under the category of our normal film reviews. But don't fret, I promise that they'll be just as incoherent as the regular fare.

The merriment! The mirth!

B-Fest 2000 Recap 

Take a trip down Memory Lane as I recap my experience at B-Fest 2000. Junk food, sleep deprivation, and fat guys in togas - it doesn't get much better than that.

B-Fest 2001

Different year, different movies, same wholesome fun.

B-Fest 2001: The Jennie Burroughs' Experience

B-Fest 2001: Adventures in Cinematic Sleep Deprivation

B-Fest 2001: A Year Late, But Who's Counting?

 


This pic was blatantly stolen from metamovie.de - look for it in my links section

Burial Ground

Categorized commentary on Andrea Bianchi's Burial Ground (1980).

NOWFF 2001


Parting Shots

"Everything in between would be nice too, but the first and last shots in a movie would have the intrinsic potential to be seriously privileged moments."



Parrotheads:
 
Objective Insight From A Guy Who Despises Jimmy Buffet
(Or At Least His Music)

Every once in a while I contribute a piece to the Stomp Tokyo affiliate, Diary of a Tuber. As the title implies, its primary focus is the dissection of televised fare. Below you will find links to articles that I have written, but there are plenty of other critiques by various authors that should not be missed. Go check it out!


Crocodile Hunter



"Obviously, the chances of me killing (or even injuring, for that matter) the spider were minimal; so after fruitlessly scouring my bed for his little corpse, I gave up, and slept on the couch downstairs for the next couple nights (dreaming of the spider finding a nice, warm spot amongst my covers, setting up a nest, and ultimately, depositing baby spiders)."


Daydream Believers


"Perhaps Im old and jaded. Maybe I need to
relearn how to appreciate the simple things of life. But to be quite honest with you, I now find The Monkees to be simply annoying."
 


German TV



"So, I feel it is my obligation to report: the women here are neither naked nor overly hairy. Now, I have seen a few topless Europeans during my travels in Switzerland, but most of which youd wish would indulge in a T-shirt of some sort."


Music Video Meltdown Vol. 1



"Apparently, when the matador can spare five
minutes to swing by the house, he likes to fool
around a bit, then walk around barefooted on
broken glass."


Robbie Knievel's Head-On Train Jump Live!


"But hey, physics just aren't as cool as motorcycle stunts".
 


Rock Show


"...you just have to dust off your spiked dog collar, don your leopard skin tights, tease your hair into a geometric anomaly - and then proceed to ROCK!"


Scooby Doo


"Oh my! It's Ned, the Poppa John's Night Manager!"


Total Request Live


"I'd like to make a shout-out to my man Timmy. He is a true homeboy, and I have nothing but the utmost
respect for said individual."


Wrecked: Extreme Bloopers


"But it's not Saget's rapier wit or Coulier's mastery of Donald Duck impressions that have the viewers coming back for more; it's our fascination with seeing other people make complete asses of themselves."

 

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