These are various articles that don't really fit under the category of our normal film reviews. But don't fret, I promise that they'll be just as incoherent as the regular fare.
B-Fest 2000 Recap
Take a trip down Memory Lane as I recap my experience at B-Fest 2000. Junk food, sleep deprivation, and fat guys in togas - it doesn't get much better than that.
Different year, different movies, same wholesome fun.
B-Fest 2001: The Jennie Burroughs' Experience
B-Fest 2001: Adventures in Cinematic Sleep Deprivation
B-Fest 2001: A Year Late, But Who's Counting?
Categorized commentary on Andrea Bianchi's Burial Ground (1980).
"Everything in between would be nice too, but the first and last shots in a movie would have the intrinsic potential to be seriously privileged moments."
Parrotheads:
Objective Insight From A Guy Who Despises Jimmy Buffet
(Or At Least His Music)
Every once in a while I contribute a piece to the Stomp Tokyo affiliate, Diary of a Tuber. As the title implies, its primary focus is the dissection of televised fare. Below you will find links to articles that I have written, but there are plenty of other critiques by various authors that should not be missed. Go check it out!
"Obviously, the chances of me killing (or even injuring, for that matter) the spider were minimal; so after fruitlessly scouring my bed for his little corpse, I gave up, and slept on the couch downstairs for the next couple nights (dreaming of the spider finding a nice, warm spot amongst my covers, setting up a nest, and ultimately, depositing baby spiders)."
"Perhaps I’m old and jaded. Maybe I need to
relearn how to appreciate the simple things of life. But to be quite honest with you, I now find The Monkees to be simply annoying."
"So, I feel it is my obligation to report: the women here are neither naked nor overly hairy. Now, I have seen a few topless Europeans during my travels in Switzerland, but most of which you’d wish would indulge in a T-shirt of some sort."
"Apparently, when the matador can spare five
minutes to swing by the house, he likes to fool
around a bit, then walk around barefooted on
broken glass."
"But hey, physics just aren't as cool as motorcycle stunts".
"...you just have to dust off your spiked dog collar, don your leopard skin tights, tease your hair into a geometric anomaly - and then proceed to ROCK!"
"Oh my! It's Ned, the Poppa John's Night Manager!"
"I'd like to make a shout-out to my man Timmy. He is a true homeboy, and I have nothing but the utmost
respect for said individual."
"But it's not Saget's rapier wit or Coulier's mastery of Donald Duck impressions that have the viewers coming back for more; it's our fascination with seeing other people make complete asses of themselves."
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