Today’s review of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is brought to you by the number 75.
75 – The apparent age difference between Indiana Jones and Mutt.
75 – The number of years of ceaseless years of labor the Ughs indians must have spent resetting the traps in the temple after the conquistadors set them off getting the skull out in the first place.
75 – The approximate number of pseudo-scientific or pseudo-archeological concepts the movie tries to cram in. Let’s see, we have the Roswell crash, aliens, telepathy, crystal skulls (with the Mitchell-Hedges skull getting an anachronistic shout out), the Nazca lines as signals to aliens, 2012 doomsday prophecy, automatic writing, El Dorado, Erich Von Daniken and Zecharia Sitchin’s theories about aliens teaching man civilization (but transfered from Sumerians to the Mayans), hive minds, other dimensions, and flying saucers. It’s amazing that had time to get any chase scenes in.
75 – The number of miles any given chase in an Indiana Jones movie must cover considering all the crap that happens during them.
75 – The percentage of Indiana Jones movies that would end the exact same way if Jones just went home to take a nap instead of chasing the bad guys.
“Don’t even think about playing a young Han Solo…”
Indiana Jones may owe some back taxes…
Cate Blanchett as Natasha Fatale via Mrs. Mia Wallace.
Watching film snobs have heart attacks during this scene is pretty fun.
#1 by NixEclips on May 26, 2008 - 9:06 pm
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Yeah. It was kinda like that. Glad I wasn’t the only one.
#2 by Joel on May 27, 2008 - 12:04 am
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It was entertaining in a totally forgettable way. There were never moments of suspense, nor visuals that we haven’t seen before, but there was plenty to laugh at in ways that the filmmakers mostly intended.
#3 by Seth L on May 27, 2008 - 4:45 pm
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Nicest looking mushroom cloud ever.
When did 2012 figure in?
#4 by Nate on June 6, 2008 - 1:56 pm
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“75 – The percentage of Indiana Jones movies that would end the exact same way if Jones just went home to take a nap instead of chasing the bad guys.”
Awesome. Man, it’s worth reading this whole project — not that that’s been a chore, y’know — for that single insight.
#5 by owen on June 9, 2008 - 11:35 am
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reseting the traps lol. its the same problem tomb raider has. ever where she goes gets absolutely messed up
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