Today’s review of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is brought to you by the number 75.

75 – The apparent age difference between Indiana Jones and Mutt.

75 – The number of years of ceaseless years of labor the Ughs indians must have spent resetting the traps in the temple after the conquistadors set them off getting the skull out in the first place.

75 – The approximate number of pseudo-scientific or pseudo-archeological concepts the movie tries to cram in. Let’s see, we have the Roswell crash, aliens, telepathy, crystal skulls (with the Mitchell-Hedges skull getting an anachronistic shout out), the Nazca lines as signals to aliens, 2012 doomsday prophecy, automatic writing, El Dorado, Erich Von Daniken and Zecharia Sitchin’s theories about aliens teaching man civilization (but transfered from Sumerians to the Mayans), hive minds, other dimensions, and flying saucers. It’s amazing that had time to get any chase scenes in.

75 – The number of miles any given chase in an Indiana Jones movie must cover considering all the crap that happens during them.

75 – The percentage of Indiana Jones movies that would end the exact same way if Jones just went home to take a nap instead of chasing the bad guys.

“Don’t even think about playing a young Han Solo…”

Indiana Jones may owe some back taxes…

Cate Blanchett as Natasha Fatale via Mrs. Mia Wallace.

Watching film snobs have heart attacks during this scene is pretty fun.