From Justin To Kelly (How Bad Can They Be? Part III)



Continuing my look at silly modern movies that are somehow getting the reputations of being some of the worst ever made. I watched From Justin To Kelly (2003), a musical starring Kelly Clarkson and Justin Guarini, the winner and runner-up respectively on the first season of American Idol.


The hottest thing on the beaches this year is synchronized breast self-exams.

It's a pretty bad movie. The plot is basically "Generic Spring Break Romantic Comedy #2," with Kelly and Justin as two kids who meet cute and then spend the rest of the movie having misunderstanding after misunderstanding until they get together at the end. The purpose of most scenes in "Generic Spring Break Romantic Comedy #2" is to keep us mildly entertained until the good stuff, with the good stuff usually defined as topless women if the movie is on Cinemax, but defined here as musical numbers. The musical numbers are all instantly forgettable, except for the song "Wish Upon a Star," which is downright excruciating. It sounds like a Madonna song strangled to death and played backwards.


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The main reason From Justin To Kelly just sits on the beach like a dead whale stinking the place up is the casting. With all due respect to anybody who voted for these two, Kelly and Justin are not stars. They won a singing contest. It takes a lot more to become a star, and that star factor can't be found in any kind of talent contest. Being a star should be the result of luck, hard work and, if you're Jackie Chan, getting killed on screen by Bruce Lee. Just being insulted the least by some British twit out of a field of twelve isn't enough. This weekend I watched the Nick and Jessica Variety Hour, a surreally bad show that looked like an episode of I Love The '80s vomited on an episode of The Sonny and Cher Show, yet even the meager star power of Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson (with special guests Mr. T and K.I.T.T.!) made for a more watchable experience than the better produced From Justin to Kelly.

Need more proof that winning on American Idol means you're a star? You know who's the biggest star from this most recent season of American Idol? This guy.

Posted: Tue - April 13, 2004 at      

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