Titanic (1943)



Titanic (1943) is a good tonic for people who think that modern Hollywood invented the historically inaccurate film. This German film takes a tragedy only 27 years gone and converts it into propaganda condemning British style capitalism. However, the movie was not produced by the Nazi party, and in the end was barred from being shown in German theaters because the government decided that German citizens didn’t need to see people panicking on board a sinking ship as the war turned against Germany.


She truly was the ship of... politics.

Perhaps the most unique feature of this version of the Titanic story is that the Titanic’s maiden voyage is actually an elaborate insider trading scam. The White Star Line’s stock is falling, so company president Robert Ismay encourages his cronies on the company board to sell their stock, causing the stock to go lower yet. They all sail on board the Titanic, and Ismay plans to have the Titanic set a speed record from England to New York, which will in some unexplained way cause the stock to go up. He and the board will buy back the stock when it hits a low, and then reap huge rewards when it goes back up.

A large part of Titanic is devoted to the execution of this plan, because there are complications. John Astor is on board, and he’s using his financial powers to keep the stock low despite the speed record, therefore putting himself in a position to buy a controlling interesting the company at bargain prices when the board members panic. (This is the flaw in Ismay’s plan, and why no one who knew what they were doing would try it.) There’s also Petersen, the German first officer of the ship who warns that the Titanic could hit ice if keeps going fast. He does this several times just to make sure we understand that the German officer is smarter and more responsible than the British officers.


Am I the only one who thinks we need to drive a stake into this guy's heart?

There are a number of subplots, proving that the disaster movie formula has been established for at least five decades.

- Petersen has some sort of past with a Russian countess, who is also being wooed by the married men Ismay and Astor, though they just want her money.

- A Cuban conman is after Astor’s wife’s jewels.


"I borrowed this blouse from J-Lo."

- A dancer named Marcia is stringing two men along in steerage. Marcia does a saucy ethnic dance to entertain the passengers in steerage, and as you might expect this scene is contrasted with the first class ball above decks. I was a bit surprised, however, to see that Marcia wears a see-through blouse for the scene. I also note that the original press materials for the movie say that the actress playing Marcia was available for promotional events, honorarium negotiable. I'm glad to know that even at the height of WWII you could still hire a stripper in Germany.


Kids, just say 'no' to Botox.

- And finally there are the young lovers, Hedy and Gruber. There’s a long scene where these two apparently German crew members meet cute, then another where they talk on the promenade about Hedy’s being engaged to some man she doesn’t love, but then they disappear. Gruber is only notable for having the most disturbing smile I’ve ever seen on someone outside a horror movie or Howard Dean interview.

Of course, the ship hits an iceberg and sinks, all done with models. The effects wouldn’t be bad, but no one told the German effects guys that you should speed up the camera when shooting models, making everything move in slow motion and look more realistic.


"Oops!"

The movie requires Petersen live so he can accuse Ismay of letting greed destroy Titanic, but if he were to just go for a lifeboat he would appear to be a coward. To work around this the movie has Petersen discover a little girl unaccountably left behind by her parents, and he swims her out to a lifeboat and is saved at the same time.

The final scene is the maritime court, which despite Petersen’s impassioned testimony finds Ismay not guilty, and a written card informs us that because of British capitalism 1500 people died and justice was never done. Stupid British. Why couldn’t they be more like the Nazis, those paragons of integrity?

Posted: Mon - October 4, 2004 at      

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