Scott's Random Thought for the Day (Slime)



So where does slime come from?

The other morning I went out to the patio and as I closed the door I felt slime all over the doorknob. I said, "Eew, slimy!" and walked inside to wash my hand and get a paper towel to wipe it off. My girlfriend heard me say this and grabbed the doorknob herself, prompting her to say "It's slimy!" and run inside to wash her hands. I guess she had to check herself because I have a long history of lying about mysterious substances on door fixtures.

What I don't understand is where this slime came from. We have a little brick and cement patio bordered on four sides by fences and walls. There is no grass, so I don't think slugs would be back there, and I didn't see any trails. It was just the doorknob that was slimy. The only other wildlife back there falls into one of three categories:

- Things with six or more legs. They mostly exist to provide food for...
- The lizards. There are lots of lizards back there. We've started naming some of the larger ones. Mostly after politicians, go figure.
- Birds. Especially the damn bird that's pooping in one spot on the patio every day, the same one I will strangle if I ever get my hands on it.

Of those three, only the birds would be big enough to effect an entire doorknob, but as far as I know birds don't excrete slime, just bird poop. Was it some kind of fungus? Did a frog try to lay eggs on the doorknob? Did an alien try to enter my house last night? I'm just not sure.


Possible recreation of the slime incident.

Posted: Wed - July 6, 2005 at      

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