It’s probably some kind of sickness on my part, but I can’t stop watching rip-offs of E.T. the Extraterrestrial (1982). Maybe it’s the inherent futility of trying to remake the magic of movie that really shouldn’t have worked in the first place, or maybe it’s that any E.T. rip-off is declaring the fact that it was made just for the money in a way that few other movies can, except for possibly Larry the Cable Guy movies.
Badi is Turkey’s entry into the race to the bottom of the barrel. In all fairness to this movie, I couldn’t find a subtitled version (and Jeebus help me, I tried,) so I had to watch it entirely in the native Turkish. I wasn’t struck with the miracle of the tongues before it was over, so I must admit that I have no real idea what’s going on. But I’m damned if that’s going to stop me.
Somewhat confusingly, the Elliot character is split into two characters, Bulen and Ali. Early scenes establish Bulent is quite the little menace, stealing balloons from vendors and blowing up firecrackers in his room. Ali seems earnest. Beyond them, though, are a number of characters that don’t have obvious equivalents in the original movie, including a pretty woman (I’ll call her Sweater Woman for lack of her actual name), a Pudgy Guy who is probably her love interest, and an older guy who, judging from the oscilloscope and overflowing bookshelves in his apartment, is a Scientist.
Before the alien can show up there is a bit of a subplot about a mean guy in the neighborhood who shoots a friendly dog to death with a pellet gun. The kids who find the dog’s corpse appear to be quite genuinely broken up, possibly because the filmmakers appear to have actually killed the dog. Too bad Spielberg never thought to make his actors act with a real dog corpse. Henry Thomas could have won an Oscar before his 10th birthday, and let’s face it, it wouldn’t have messed Drew Barrymore up anymore than she was anyway.
As one might expect from a low-budget simulation of another film, the alien landing and Ali’s discovery of the alien is handled in as few scenes and with as much cardboard as possible. And then there’s the alien, Badi, itself. In the race to the bottom that is comparing all the not-E.T.’s to each other, it’s important to remember that most people pegged E.T.’s popularity to the fact that it was “so ugly it’s cute.” This translated into every E.T. rip-off being made uglier than the last, the theory being that it would be perceived as even cuter. The theory was proven wrong again and again. Perhaps the best description I can think of for Badi is that he looks like someone took the original E.T. and inflated him with a bicycle pump. His face is small compared to his enormous head, and his limbs grotesquely large as if swollen.
Badi does have on interesting twist on the E.T. formula. Ali tries to show his mother Badi right away, but apparently Turkish people don’t have peripheral vision because Badi manages to keep from being seen by just wandering around the kitchen and not being directly in front of her.
Eventually Ali takes Badi around to see nearly everyone in the neighborhood, while Bulent helps the alien make a communication machine. Along the way Badi shows his magic powers, though truth be told they’re rather modest powers. Badi can make apples dance as if they’re being dangled on fishing line, and when the kids visit an amusement park at night Badi apparently powers all the attractions just by being around. Badi’s not so much an intergalactic explorer as a particularly effective carney. He handles concessions, oversees the rides, and he’s the most disgusting thing in the freak show!
Finally, after what seems like forever, Sweater Woman and the Scientist find Badi, just in time for the alien to start dying. (Repeated shots of a bird in a cage are supposed to give us the idea that Badi needs to be home, not caged up on a craphole like our planet.) Badi’s presence also becomes known general public, who form a mob complete with farming implements. In response all the kids start a riot, and Ali sneaks Badi out of town on a cart. And yes, Badi makes the cart fly, in a process shot that couldn’t have passed muster on the cheapest Sid and Marty Krofft show. The aliens land at the amusement park, Ali cries, Badi leaves, and I thank whatever deities there may be that this thing is finally over.
