December 10, 1998

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Normally I wouldn't plug a dog's web site, but this isn't a normal dog. Fergus is a service dog in training, which means he's particularly well-behaved. Presumably, that also means he has been taught to respect cats for what we are: the rightful lords of this planet. Fergus' site is a diary of his life. It chronicles his efforts to become a good service dog for his mom, Samantha, who will someday need his help. As a part of his training, Fergus gets to play all sorts of games, and is rewarded with various treats, which is fine -- if you're a dog. The diary is written in Fergus' voice, with occasional input from his non-service dog housemate, Smokie. Quite frankly, it's one of the funniest and most interesting pieces of day-to-day journalism I've read. Now we're cleaning so that Shannon and Laura will show up for Bridge night. For some reason they only come over on the Thursdays when we clean. On the Thursdays where we don't clean they never arrive. I find this to be odd as I personally prefer going places that haven't been cleaned. Silly dog, everyone knows that houses and apartments are to humans what fur is to cats. They like it looking nice when other humans come over, in the hopes that the other humans will like the looks of it and maybe kill something for them to eat. (I'm still trying to figure out what a pizza animal looks like.) Speaking of humans, I'm finding that they're getting more and more difficult to figure out. A prime example: the Voluntary Human Extinction Movement. This bunch of silly people (motto: "May we live long and die out") seriously proposes a downsizing of the human race. Not that I'm against that in principle, but there had better be enough people left to serve us cats. The VHEMT (where'd the extra T come in?) is apparently not a gag, as their web site illustrates. It contains a lengthy set of questions and answers about overpopulation, why they don't hate babies, and sex. Plus, like any good organization, you can order their bumper stickers, which read: "Thank you for not breeding." The third and final site for this week returns us to our video roots. This is Sexy? calls itself "your guide to direct-to-video eroticism." In other words, come read all about which direct-to-video flicks are worth watching for the naked babes. Fortunately, the web scribe behind TIS is as witty as he is attentive to the first moment a nipple appears on screen. This is definitely one of those sites that features reviews more entertaining than the movies themselves. Don't forget to check out the archives for older editions of Clickerama. Next update: sometime in 1999