Otis the Cat's CLICKERAMA

October 20, 1999 EMAIL OTIS YAKKETY YAK SUGGEST A SITE ARCHIVES

Bewitched Earlier this year a movie was released called The Blair Witch Project. A lot of hubbub followed as people scrambled all over themselves to declare it a very scary film, a slightly scary film, a not scary at all film, or a quick way to lose one's lunch. Personally, I'm waiting for "Blair Witchy-Os" breakfast cereal. Whether Blair is a modern horror classic or just some random video footage put together by film students who then snookered some Hollywood execs is completely beside the point. What really matters is that it has provided fodder for a new round of movie parody web sites, all of which ape the famous official Blair Witch site.
The most heralded among these parodies is The Bewitched Project, which investigates the mystery behind the disappearance and summary replacement of Dick York as Elizabeth Montgomery's husband on the tv show, Bewitched. It's well-researched, but not really very funny. It's nice to see the tv magazine covers about the famous switch, but other than a few publicity stills there's not a lot to see.
Slightly more imaginative is The Summer of 1999, a vacation photo log presented in the Blair fashion. The sepia-toned photos contribute to a real sense of creepiness and the "dog's apology" for losing the map is priceless, especially if you're a cat. Don't forget to visit the rest of the site, which is an information resource for dog owners, in particular those who think their dog may be suffering from meningioma (a form of canine brain tumor).
Other Blair parodies include the Blair Warner Project, which is pretty funny if you remember The Facts of Life, and pretty pointless if you don't. The parody with the most shameless summer movie crossover would have to be The Jar Jar Binks Project, featuring the world's most hated Star Wars character as the hero who goes looking for the students who disappeared. "Mesa so scared!"
That mention of breakfast cereal earlier reminds me of the latest blow in the name of ignorance: Millenios. Caught up in the hype surrounding the upcoming turn of the century, the General Mills corporation has released a new version of its Cheerios cereal, called Millenios. Never mind that the actual third millennium doesn't begin until 2001 (or, as we discussed in an earlier column, it may have aleady begun), let's make up a new cereal with little 2's to complement all the 0's. Of course, it can't just be a fun cereal. It has to be an event, complete with Dick Clark endorsements and the auction of celebrity-autographed boxes of the stuff on New Year's Eve. Have I mentioned that humans are weird?
Further muddying the waters on the millennium issue is this web page from the White House, called When is the Millennium? The good folks at the President's place acknowledge the "real" millenial changeover, but have declared the year 2000 as "The Millennium Year," and they'll be doing all kinds of activities to further confuse the populace. Not that I'm bitter.
Cat movie of the month
Romancing the Stone. Apart from a being a pretty good adventure flick, this movie has one fabulous scene in which Kathleen Turner serves her cat's every whim. At the beginning of the film, she's a romance novelist with no romance in her life. So she makes the logical choice: she dedicates her life to the service of the feline race. Wow, when one of Hollywood's most sultry actresses subjugates herself to the higher cat mind, you know the revolution can't be far behind. It's too bad that she's forced to abandon the care of said kitty (not that we cats need you humans, you understand) in favor of saving her human sister. But then that dumb man comes around to ruin the cushy arrangement while the cat isn't present to break things up by, say, clawing his face beyond recognition. You know, that sort of thing.

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