January 18, 1999

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Even a cat knows that the Macarena was one of the most evil things ever spawned on a dance floor. That doesn't seem to stop it from popping its head up every now and again, this time damaging our shared cultural heritage. That's right, the Macarena has besmirched the honor of Star Wars -- and Jedi Master Yoda in particular. Band together, I urge you. Destroy this plague that is novelty dancing. Perhaps some nice Chinese food will help me calm down. For that, a trip to the Dim Sum Shrine and Take-Out Joint is definitely in order. More than a mere collection of recipes, the Dim Sum Shrine waxes poetic about the proper attitude (reverent) to hold towards your dim sum meal, reveals the importance of the layout of dim sum restaurants (wide aisles for the carts), and has tons of links to other dim sum resources and recipes. (I suggest you go for the basic potstickers to begin.) One of the more fascinating links I followed from the Dim Sum Shrine was the one to CuisineNet's Chinese Food Glossary. This site contains an absorbing description of Chinese eating customs, especially the differences between everyday meals and banquets. Not only will you read about the proper way to show appreciation to your host (personally I find prolonged yowling to be the best), but you might learn a thing or two about tea houses and how to get a handle on those chopsticks. While you're gorging yourself on fattening Chinese cuisine, you might want to stop by Cyberdiet's Nutritional Database, the most comprehensive listing of foods by category I've found yet. Calorie counts, fat grams, and all sorts of information about each food in its various forms are all available in just a few clicks. This gloriously free web site even has fast food nutritional info, so you can figure out just what it is you're eating when you order a Number Two. (Does the idea of ordering a Number Two make anyone else cringe?) Cyberdiet is run by a dietician who must really love her work. Till next time, this is Otis signing off. Don't forget to check out the archives for older editions of Clickerama. Next update: overdue... any day now!