Director: Peter Jackson
New Zealand - 1992
Back when I was living down in St. Petersburg, Florida, in the three-bedroom apartment,
my future wife, George, came down to visit me from her school in Indiana. Shes a
film scholar, and so naturally, she brought one of her cheesy horror movies along for us
to enjoy: the infamous Dead Alive, widely rumored to be
the goriest movie ever made. My roommate Heidi was on her way out of the apartment with
her boyfriend, our friend Chris (no relation to Chris of Stomp Tokyo), with vague plans of seeing what movies
were at the theater. Heck, weve already got a video, why dont you watch it
with us? "Oh, I dont know
its just a video
About an hour later, Chris looked up at me from his reclining position on the living
room floor, tears in his eyes, and said in the most sober and serious voice: "Skip,
this is the best movie I have ever seen."
Ill be damned if I didnt agree.
Upon further reflection, I dont know if I can say its unilaterally the best
movie Ive ever seen, as Ive never been able to pick a single favorite movie,
ever, but its for damn sure the funniest zombie movie Ive ever seen, and as
far as I can tell, it lives up to its bloody legend. It even beats Starship Troopers,
and with a much smaller budget. Obviously a much smaller budget! But thats all part
of the fun.
Welcome to the review of Dead Alive, one of the OTF entries into Crazy
Baby Month. Why does it qualify for Crazy Baby Month? For that, my friends, youll
have to read and see.
I do have to say that I enjoy previews, particularly to these kinds of movies. I mean,
where else can you see a trailer for BrainSmasher: A Love Story? But anyway
My screenwriting course always said that the first few images and lines of a film were
supposed to set the stage for the rest of the story. For example, in The Piano,
the first image you see is Holly Hunter covering her face, while she speaks in voice-over
of when she stopped talking. Except she isnt of course, but thats kind of
beside the point. So what does Dead Alive show us? Well, after the text, its a deep
crevasse, and the caption "Skull Island (Southwest of Sumatra) 1957." An Indiana
Jones-esque duo carries a rough cage down the canyon. Well, at least they would be Indiana
Jones-esque if Indy was a fleshy New Zealander in khaki shorts and an inexplicable hat,
and his sidekick was a scruffy guy with an unlikely Jamaican accent. Apparently,
theyve captured a rat monkey (a rat monkey?), and the sidekick is certain it means
bad luck. Uh oh! He was right! Angry natives! Spears brandished! How will Indy get out of
On a side note, it turns out the "Tribesmen" were played by the Fijian Rugby
Club. Just an interesting happenstance. I wonder if they play painted up like that
know it would intimidate the hell out of me. But then, rugby in general intimidates me, so
I guess thats not so special.
(pulls out paper) "Permit. Perrr-mit! Perrr-mit!" (natives grab permit, rip
it up. Plan B. Indy pulls out a tommy gun) "Im a New Zealand zoo official. And this monkey is going to Newtown." (hail
Nice save, Indy! After that close call, Indy and sidekick race down to the jeep instead
of a seaplane, where, instead of fishing, Jock and his buddy (instead of Jock being alone)
are playing cricket. Man, how New Zealander can you get? Oh no! Jeep hits a bump and the
cage falls on Indy! His hand is bloodied. "The little bugger bit me!" Sidekick
looks at it in terror. "Zingaya!" he screams.
Jock slams on the brakes. Indy gets kicked in the face, lands on his back.
The Bite!" Sidekick exclaims. The cure? CHOP! Goodbye,
hand. Screaming Indy reveals a rip in his other arm. "Zingaya!" exclaims Jock.
CHOP! Goodbye, arm. Freaking, Indys hat falls off, and we see a scratch on his
forehead. "Zingaya!" the three guys say in unison, and as the axe falls, we get
title in animated red. Oh, how sweet.
Naturally, the guys bring the monkey to the plane, anyway, even though Sidekick has
misgivings. But theres money to be had. And so the venue shifts to Wellington, New
Zealand. What is it with all these shots of transport? Sure, its old style planes,
vintage cars, and trolleys, and so on, and so forth. Still, its like Bert I.
Gordons walking sequences. Do I really need to see how the zookeeper shifts gears?
Hopefully, itll pick up again soon. I mean, when you start off with Zingaya,
youve got to keep the action going, right?
Ah, the lovely shopgirl, our heroine, Paquita Maria Sanchez (the lovely Diana
Penalver). Oh, shes boy-crazy, but the boys dont seem to notice. Her
gypsy-type grandmother (Davina Whitehouse) does her Tarot reading, to see if someone is in the cards for her.
Of course, her father (Silvio Fumularo) eats eggs or something at the same table. Why is
it that ethnic men always seem to wear sleeveless undershirts with suspenders? I mean,
Incidentally, once when George and I were in Rhode Island, we were walking through
historic old Newport and we looked into the window of this fortune tellers shop, and
we saw the exact same Tarot cards laid out in the window! Now that was a fun
moment. Back to the review.
Paquita will recognize her young man by the symbol of the star. But the card of
Oppression hangs over the man in the reading, as well, something Granny doesnt want
And now we meet Lionel Cosgrove
(Timothy Balme), the shy and awkward young man who will become our hero. Oh, Paquita
doesnt like him very much, but when the sign of the star shows up, the romantic
and Lionel panics. Nearly gets run down by a trolley. Oh, how loveable.
Turns out young Lionel lives with his Mum (Elizabeth Moody), a domineering old biddy
who wears pearls in the house, goes for Treasurer of the Wellington Ladies Welfare
League, and orders her son around like a slave.
On the up side, Lionels chores introduce us to a character who will play an
important part in the movie later: no, not Paquitas dog, but Lionels
lawnmower. Oh, yes, my friends, all hail the lawnmower, that king of household implements.
But more on that later.
Paquita shows up, and almost immediately shows that shes much cleverer than
Lionel by maneuvering him into asking her out. I really do appreciate it
when movies reflect reality by showing women to be ever so much smarter than men. On the
other hand, more men are in the film business, so I guess thats why women tend to
get the raw end of the deal in many screenplays. This development in the movie at hand
does, however, set up two things: Paquita is determined to get her man, even if he is a
bumbler (hes a loveable bumbler, I guess), and shes smarter than she sometimes
acts. Determination and intelligence are always good things to have in a zombie flick, but
she is a minority, so shes got a strike against her. Then again, shes the
romantic interest, so she should survive.
Uh oh, Mum disapproves. Good thing Mum doesnt run a hotel with showers and
peepholes and such
ah, but she gets Lionel back into the house. Nothing like a good
guilt trip to keep the kids in line. Theres some talk of Father
he was Taken
From Them. Oooh, thats got to be significant.
So soon we cut to the next day, which is a lovely day at the zoo for our young lovers,
until Lionel freaks out at the
sight of water
Scary hand rising from the waves! Oh, wait, its just a
flashback. To his fathers drowning death, apparently. Well, free-spirited Paquita
comforts him, and then steals a kiss, and things are going swimmingly until the playful
monkeys get too close to the
Sumatran Rat Monkey! Oh, its a horrible beast
that kills the monkey in the next cage, dismembers it and pulls it throught he bars to his
own cage! Oh, and its doubly horrible because its a wretchedly animated
stop-motion figure. Still, it gets its, because Mum crushes its little head with a
heel after it takes a bite out of her arm. Oh, shes a vicious one.
Too bad there werent any scruffy native types to yell "Zingaya!" and
chop her arm off! Ah, well, then we wouldnt have any more henpecking. Nor a Mum to
turn into a zombie! Because thats exactly what happens. Oh, she gets gradually
sicker, and starts, like, dropping ears in her pudding.
Oh, theres such a high gross-out factor in this early stage. Not just the
monkeys skull-crushing, or the weird, big-toothed pictures of Lionels
relatives, but shes always oozing pus, or growing big pustules on her forehead, or
having her skin flake off
Of course, she cant miss her tea with the president
of the WLWL, so Lionel has to literally glue her back together. Oh, my. We so rarely get
to see someone degenerate into zombiedom so slowly. And seeing prim and proper mother
degenerate into snatching food off anothers plate
the joy. And shooting pus
into another mans custard
thats absolutely putrid. At this stage of the
movie, its still enough to gross you out. Just wait, though
Okay, so when Paquita runs in to warn Lionel that "Dark Forces are massing against
you!" its a welcome change to normalcy. Well, relatively speaking.
Paquitas dog Fernando runs up to visit Mum, and when we get up there,
Fernandos tail is sticking out of her mouth. Oh, yes. Lionel yanks out a hunk of fur, leading to
one of the lines that sticks with you long after the rest of the movie fades:
"Your mother ate my dog!"
"Not all of it
It seems like Mum is not long for this world. When the nurse (Brenda Kendall)
cant find a pulse, Lionel is heartbroken. Ah, but we, the audience, know that
Mums just starting, and soon Nurse McTavish is killed, and joins her as a zombie. It
doesnt seem to require biting to turn a body to a zombie, but then again, the rules
dont really get explained much. Lionel tricks them into the basement, and tries to keep them secret from Paquita, turning up
the radio and pretending to listen until she leaves. Oh, hes a really bad liar.
"Were all fine
how are you?" "Uh,
negative, negative, reactor leak, very bad
It becomes necessary for Lionel to figure out how to control Mum. So he visits the
local veterinarian, rather a gross-out experience in himself, and similarly hilarious.
Animal tranquilizers are the answer, it seems. And even though zombies dont seem to
have a circulatory system, injecting them seems to work.
Theres more to Lionels repressed memories, actually, than his fathers
drowning: something about a blonde woman. He goes to see Paquitas grandmother, and
while she reads his
cards, Mum breaks out of the basement and lurches down to the shop, after Lionel
right into a trolley. Ah, flying zombies. Its not everyday you get to see one of
After tranking her up some more, Lionel cant keep Mum from being buried. We meet
Uncle Les (Ian Watkin), and the no-nonsense priest, Father McGruder (Stuart Devenie). Oh,
Mums just looking worse and worse, and believe me, a botched embalming doesnt
help. The embalming scene does give the director a chance to appear in his own film, as
the undertakers assistant (who retrieves his sandwich, regardless that its
been spewed upon by embalming fluids). Come to think of it, the same guy could have been
playing the Indy guy from up at the front of the movie, and the veterinarian. Of course,
the vet is credited as Brian Sergent; oh, well, so much for that
theory. Still, the end credits dont have a title for the explorer guy, unless they
gave him a name and I didnt hear it. Lionel has to keep shooting Mum up with tranks,
even just before the funeral.
Paquita stands by her man, but hes got a dark secret. And he has a further
complication: Uncle Les wants a cut of his family wealth.
Apparently, Lionel has to dig up Mum to give her the injection, and shes
interrupted by 50s greaser types, all leather jackets and greased hair. Very disrespectful
to the dead
until the dead fight back. Soon, two of the greasers become walking
dead, and advance on Lionel. The priest, Father McGruder, appears above him, atop
"Stay back, boy
this calls for divine intervention!" he says, then
leaps into action.
You know, Ive always wanted to see a movie with a kung-fu Catholic priest
fighting zombies. The immortal line, "I kick ass for the Lord!" is merely a
Still, even the Lightning Fists of God can only last so long. Father McGruder gets
nipped (by the head he just kicked off, by the way), so when he later dies, hes
You know, its been shown that even dismembered zombies keep going, but they never talk about the other greaser that the priest
kicked to pieces again. Hm.
Anyway, Lionel is soon running a Group Home for half-drugged zombies. Mum, Nurse
McTavish, Father McGruder, and Greaser (named Void, it turns out, played by Jed Brophy)
are all semi-mobile residents. Feeding time for zombies leads to a number of humorous, if
gross, gags, and Father McGruder figures that death must release him from his vows, as he
and Nurse McTavish are soon going at it. Of course, Uncle Les is vying for some cut of the
inheritance, which means Lionel cant stop them from pounding out a Zombie Baby!
Oh, yes, the Crazy Zombie Baby! Perhaps the demented heart of the film. Like so many
monster babies, it develops and is born in record time. Soon, its twisted little prune face is making the cutest
expressions as it tries to gnaw off Lionels legs. What a scamp!
Anyway, Lionel takes the zombie baby out for a stroll. Perfectly reasonable behavior.
Trying to keep it from nibbling on passerby, he tries to normalize it. Of course, when you
have to put barbed wire up on the inside of the pram, your chance at normalizaiton is
pretty much gone. When Baby gets away, however, it does lead to some pretty damn funny
baby combat. Heh. Is it wrong to enjoy watching a zombie baby get beaten up? Sure! But we
love it anyway.
Uncle Les finds the drugged-out zombies, and uses this to blackmail Lionel into giving
him run of the house. Of course, Uncle Les calls over all his deadbeat friends to have a
swinging party. Lionel runs out of tranquilizer (oh, the classic rake
gag!) and cant go out for more, because of Uncle Less demands on him.
You know, all the New Zealand girls seem to be really nicely pretty. Kind of
wholesome-like, as opposed to Hollywood glamour pretty. But all the guys seem to be
unremarkable, or have oddly shaped jaws or teeth. Perhaps thats just the British
Isles ancestry, but who knows?
Paquita comes over looking for Lionel, stumbles across the zombies! Shes
recourceful, though, and manages to fight off Void long enough for Lionel to find her (oh,
the rake gag! Slightly modified, true, but still
). True to her archetype, she
figures it out, and doesnt freak. "Dark Forces surround him," she whispers
to herself. Lionel finally has someone to open up to, and shes there
for him. Of course, she gives him the advice that he doesnt want to hear. "You
must destroy them."
Well, heck, if it was that easy, we wouldnt have a zombie problem in this
country, now, would we? Geez, like the solution is that simple.
Well, he does have a bunch of poison handy. He bids a tearful goodbye to Zombie
Mum, and then turns to deal with the rest of the clan. Paquita and Lionel bury them, and
go to leave. But Uncle Les is off his rocker, now. He throws Lionel back down in the
basement, and drags Paquita into the kitchen. In the basement, Lionel realizes that on the
other side of the poison bottle are the words "Animal Stimulant." And zombies
rocket up through the ground.
You know, if more movies had rocket-propelled zombies, and kung-fu priests, I think the
world would be a better place.
So now the zombies are all set on Turbo! Even the baby! And theyve got a whole house-full of party guests as canapes. The zombies soon
reproduce, by biting rather than by making the Zombie Beast with Two Backs, and
theyre after Lionel and Paquita. Thankfully, zombies arent known for their
dexterity, and it turns out they can be momentarily deterred with a well-thrown lawn
They do get really creative around this time, though. I mean, between dismemberings,
gnawings, various pullings and strippings, it just gets outrageous. And then they throw in
a running-in place gag! Thats when the ludicrousness sets in. I mean, it gets so
damn over-the-top, you just cant help but laugh. And theyre playing the
violence for humor, so its hard to take it very seriously.
Then they start to play with the ideas of what zombie physics can do. I mean,
theres half a head being kicked around, eyes still moving. At one point, a
persons legs and hips are walking around, kicking at the live guy. How do the legs
sense their prey? Ive heard of guys thinking with the wrong head, but I mean, come
on. Its not like theres a radar apparatus set up or anything. And then get
this: animated organs. Thats right. When your heart and lungs start acting like a
face and hands, you know youre completely disconnected from reality. And, all things
considered, its ironic that the greaser zombie had the name Void.
And thats when it really transcends, I think.
Lionel escapes to the attic, where he makes a chilling discovery about the truth of his fathers death, and what his mother
was capable of in real life.
Paquita, hiding out in the kitchen with this other girl, has been holding her own. She
pinioned some zombie girl to the wall by putting the hole in the back of her head over a
lightbulb, providing a cheery Halloween-style glow throughout the kitchen, and the two of
them are shoring up the barricades and staying out of the trapped zombies reach,
when who should pop out of the cookie tin than
The Zombie Baby! Yay!
Oh, Zombie Baby, your antics bring joy and serenity to us all. In your psychopathic,
Loony-Toon-esque frolics, you give voice to the evil undead demon-child urges we all keep
deep within us. In your honor, I now compose this haiku.
Undead toddler child,
Hopped up on stimulant drugs,
Bite that girl, bite her!
Thank you. And now, back to the movie review.
Yes, Paquita takes on the Zombie Baby, and boy, does she sock it to him. Frying pain,
the only time she takes pity, and
almost doesnt switch on the appliance, he has to go and spoil it by pulling a Linda
Blair. And to wrap it up, she punches him out a window. Oh, yes, my friends, it really has
to be seen to be believed. Rent it! Rent it now!
No, wait, better finish reading about it, first. Then go track it down.
Again with the lawn gnome. Uncle Les jams the gnome into a zombies neck stump,
and throughout the rest of the movie, theres this zombie with a gnome-head running
around. I guess the head acts as his eyes, but then how was he tracking Uncle Les, anyway?
Again, zombie physics provide no convenient explanation. I mean, when a zombies own
internal organs can rise up and chase you
Oh, yeah, Lionel. Hes re-living the truth of his fathers death, and his
mothers evil (now, we all knew she was going to be evil, right?) and almost forgets
theres a bunch of intestines and organs that are mad as hell and theyre not
going to take it anymore! He falls through the attic roof, foot caught on a wire, and ends
up hanging like a pinata at a zombie birthday party. Psychotic Uncle Les starts going
ginsu in the kitchen, and for some reason that seems to work
maybe its only
zombies hopped up on animal stimulants that can have independently animated organs.
Come to think of it, youd think the organs would be done like the stop-motion Rat
Monkey, but they seem to be more of a puppet sort of thing. Kind of works better, really.
Oh, gross! Lionel has to resort to extreme measures to get free. I dont even want
to talk about it. I will say that the poor zombie who was walking below him when he fell
back down found out the hard way that even fresh zombie skulls are much more fragile than
real live human heads. Im beginning to think that Lionel has an Ash Head. You know,
Dead 2: Ash (Bruce Campbell) could withstand just about any blow, provided he took
it on his noggin. Maybe Lionel shares that ability. Bruce does spend a lot of time in New
Zealand, what with Jack
of All Trades and such
Coincidence? But anyway.
I just saw the end of the Garden Gnome Zombie. And then Zombie Baby kicks
Uncle Les in the family jewels. With someone elses leg. Its that kind of
Suddenly, were reminded that we havent seen Mum in all this mayhem.
Lionel does a swinging thing and ends up swinging completely out the window. Paquita is
on her last legs, surrounded by zombies, when the door
well, its one of those Cool Moments, but its so unlikely,
that you just have to see it. Somehow, it does fit in with the rest of the movie, but at
this point, they could have a dinosaur wreck the house, and Id buy it.
Lionel uses his trusty friend, the lawnmower, as weapon and defense. Holding it as a
shield, the wirring blades make short work of fragile zombie limbs and bodies. You know,
at times they seem to have superhuman strength, but at the same time, its not like
you can take a normal human and pull them apart like you can a zombie.
Its a ballet of blood and gasoline fumes. They even have ballet-style music.
Paquita, in the kitchen, is dealing with the others
she even spits in a zombie face!
Rock on, Paquita! Give me a girl like this in a pinch over any Stallone or Van Damme.
And the Baby is still going! Cant figure out how he pulled his latest trick, but
its for damn sure its funny!
Okay, Mum finally makes an appearance, a giant, bloated woman parody. The house is on fire, thanks to Paquitas last-ditch effort to save
herself from the Zombie Baby (goodbye, Zombie Baby! Youll live on in our
or not live, considering). Up on the roof of the burning house, Lionel
confronts his mother, the bitter accusation of her lifetime of lies. And, in opposition to
all expectation (i.e. being a zombie the longest, and further metamorphosing into a giant
hideous costume-puppet), she responds.
"How dare you speak to me like that!"
Yes, Mum is up to her old tricks, treating Lionel like crap and taking it out on
Paquita. Shes not content with dismembering Lionel, or chewing him up or
No, she has to send him sliding down the roof and into her distended belly,
which opens into a big fleshy cocoon. Yes, womb imagery, all sick and twisted like the
rest of the movie.
I want to take a moment here and make a brief comment about symbolism and such in
horror movies. Now granted, this kind of thing is pretty damn heavy-handed, but it still
showed a great deal more thought than most horror movies out there. It seems like many
Hollywood horror movie writers seem to share the viewpoint of many Hollywood
science-fiction movie writers: plot doesnt matter, as long as you give them special
effects. How many horror movies have you seen that set up the rules of how the monster
works, and then break the rules later? (Im particularly thinking of Vampires,
you f*ck! Sorry, the spirit of James Woods as Jack Crow moved me for a second there
But anyway.) Same thing for science fiction. There are too few smart movies in the
speculative genre, and the percentage goes way down when you factor in direct-to-video
releases. Each year, theres maybe only one or two movies that you can say were good,
smart genre movies. The Matrix, The Sixth Sense
very few others
last year that were without major flaws. Granted, this doesnt mean they arent
successful, or good, but I just wish there was more thought involved, you know? On the
other hand, the fact that theres so much crap out there makes us appreciate the gems
even more. So perhaps its not a completely bad thing
I mean, if every
movie had rocket-propelled zombies and kung-fu priests, then they wouldnt be so
special, would they?
So as Mum is toying with Paquita, and her face is falling apart, Lionel escapes with
the help of this talisman that Paquitas grandmother conveniently gave him early on.
And Mum falls back into the burning house. Last we see of her is her big flabby butt and
tiny freakish feet. Okay, not all that tiny, actually, but compared to the dimensions of the rest of her body
Paquita and Lionel survive, but as theyre leaving the scene of the carnage,
theyre shot by the police
no, wait, different zombie movie.
Oh My God! I just saw the Zombie Baby crying in the burning wreckage! Perhaps the
firefighters save him, and adopt him as their own! You know, a little like in Time
Bandits. But we didnt actually see that, I guess, the adoption and such. Well,
suffice it to say, there is room for a sequel. You know, something like Dead Alive 2:
Revenge of the Zombie Baby. Or perhaps the musical, Zombie! Or maybe I need a
During the credits, I also note that Forrest J. Ackerman plays a character called
Forry. Now, I know the name, and I know Forrest J. is a well-known person among certain
circles. I just cant place him, and quite frankly, I have no desire to. I had no
clue until I was watching the credits that there was even a character named Forry, so I
guess we can tell how much of an impression he made.
Theres also a bunch of credits to "Featured Party Zombies."
Theres a term I never thought Id hear: Party Zombie. Woo Hoo! Break open the keg! The party zombies are
here! In truth, I dont think zombies would be much fun at a party. I saw a Star Trek
cartoon once, with the Borg at a cocktail party. "Your cocktail weenies are
irrelevant." "Your conical paper hats are irrelevant." "Your complete
collection of Elvis Costello is irrelevant." Kind of brought the whole party down,
you know, besides all that assimiliation stuff. Come to think of it, the Borg are just
Space Zombies with better communication skills. Thats pretty much how they were
played in First Contact, too, when they made them all oozy and splotchy, and used
nano-machines injected into the body to start the process. Not as bloody as a zombie bite,
but then again, Star Trek has always been very sanitary. But Im getting off-track.
Post-film, Im impressed with how well Peter Jackson managed to pull off a
sweet-natured love story amidst all that carnage. And how he took such violence and turned
it into comedy. Its not that that hasnt been happening for years (take the
Stooges, just for one of the early ones), but still, you run a terrible risk when you increase the violence and corresponding yuck factor to such a
degree, and try to make it funny. But I think thats really the key. Its not
that we get numb to the blood and gore, its just that after a bit, you cant
take it seriously. I mean, its not as if its played straight, or anything.
I always find it interesting to see the justification for zombiedom. Here, it was a
curse wrought by taking the Rat Monkey out of its home. Other places, its a voodoo
curse. Other times, its Gummint Experiments. Or just some kind of disease.
Regardless, making the dead walk has rarely been played for so many laughs. Well,
theres Chopper Chicks in Zombie Town, and Dead Men Dont Die, but
lets leave my personal collection out of this. Besides, George has to share the
blame for some of it.
Jackson went on to do such great works as Meet the Feebles (disgusting Muppets,
which Im not sure of Scott of Stomp Tokyo
has managed to watch all the way through), The Frighteners (his twisted afterlife
humor continues!), and Bad Taste (sort of a Men in Black thing, before Smith and
Jones did their turn). I have yet to see Bad Taste, but Im dying to find it.
Not literally, of course.
Regarding ratings: If I enjoyed the movie so much, one has to wonder why I give it two
Hoffs. Well, its too cheesy of a movie to rate only one Hoff, and I have to say,
Id have liked to have seen Hoff as a zombie. If you look at it in the terms of
celebrity zombie cameos, Id give it four Hoffs, but as it is, I think two is enough
to convey its specialized niche in the cinematic universe.
Okay, now you can go out and rent it! Obey me!
-- Oh, the gripping Gear Shifting Scene!
Paquitas winning smile: aint she a cutie!
-- What the heck is Lionel so afraid of? If Paquita was looking at me like that, I
wouldnt hop on the streetcar! But then again, I dont live with Mum
-- Lionel pulls a "disappearing as a streetcar passes" trick that always
looks so cool, but then hes found out. I wonder if that happens to Blade, or Chow
Yun Fat, or Batman?
Uncle Les pulls out Zombie Father McGruders teeth with a pair of
pliers! This is one sure way to keep a zombie from eating you! Then again, Mum didnt
eat Nurse McTavish, and that freaky zombie mojo still worked on the nurse, so zombie
physics confounds me again.
-- You really have to be disturbed to view a wriggling pile of zombie parts as a job
well done. But thats just the kind of guy Uncle Les is.
The Zombie Baby, one last time, crying in the night, just looking for a
hand to hold
or to nibble on
Farewell, sweet prince.
-- In the credits, there are two separate credits for Baby Selwyn (those credits being
Morgan Rowe and Sean Hay), and a separate credit for Selwyns Voice (Vicki Walker).
Could the Zombie Baby be Baby Selwyn? Only Peter Jackson can tell us!
Click here for even more Crazy Baby fun!
-- Copyright © 2000 by E. Mark Mitchell