LinkExchange Member
posted in reverse chronological order
original letters are in normal type, our responses are in boldface
Hey guys,
Just a quick question. I'm interested in buying "Crime Story" but nobody seems to know whether Jackie dubs his own voice or not. For me this would determine whether the movie is worth my $19.99 or not (I'll stay away from it if it's some talentless Australian actor trying to sound like an American). At any rate, it's one of my favourite Chan movies (like Police Story with the comedy bits edited out).
The general consensus seems to be that Jackie did not dub his own voice, but if he didn't, the person who did was good enough that he fooled us for most of the movie. So relative to some of the other Jackie Chan dubs, this one's probably one of the better ones.
What we are waiting for is to see if Dimension decides to release it in a letterboxed version. If they did that, we would buy it.
Yikes, guys. What a hearty endorsement of "Grease," a film which, up until now, I was sure was only really enjoyed by teenage girls. My male friends and I have never understood the allure (although I must admit, I enjoyed it when I saw it on stage.) This film's moral always seemed a little odd to me, especially considering it's so beloved by women. It seems that the message is that it's the goody two-shoes that has to change her image to a sleazy girl before she gets accepted, while the man doesn't need to change at all, retaining his snaky qualities, newly assured that she'll change for him. Anyway, this film reminds me of an adage I have about another cinematic piece of fluff. "Not all women love 'Dirty Dancing' but all people who love 'Dirty Dancing' are women."
While we certainly agree on the matter of Dirty Dancing, Grease would have to qualify as a guilty pleasure. Yes, it's goofy as hell, but that can be fun, especially when it involves an aging Frankie Avalon. The sticky subject of the film's moral has been the topic of many a late-night college dorm conversation, but yes, the women we know do seem to breeze past it in favor of the fact that true love conquers all. Come to think of it, Danny did go through all that business with the track team, so it's not as if he didn't even try to change.
I was perusing the IMDb today, and found what appeared to be a Hong Kong made Street Fighter movie, called "Chao ji xue xiao ba wang". It looks like it's the genuine article, with all the right character names and even Jacky Cheung as Guile. Do you know anything about this? I would kill to get a copy, especially since the Van Damme version sucked. BTW, I've seen some Japanese commercials from when SF2 Turbo premiered in the US, which included live action, well-done fight scenes with SF2 characters. Any idea if these were from the movie?
The movie to which you refer here is usually known by the English title Future Cops. We don't think it was an 'official' Street Figter movie, so the characters didn't actually have the right names, but everyone knew who they were supposed to be. In any case, We took a quick look around the web to see if anyone offered it, and found nothing. Your best bet would be to try either Tai Seng (http://www.Taiseng.com) or Amae (http://www.moviesales.com).
However, there was one movie made in Hong Kong that did officially use the Street Fighter characters. That was Jackie Chan's City Hunter (unfortunately, also hard to find). Towards the end of the film, Ryu (Jackie) is thrown into a SF2 machine by bad guy Ken (Gary Daniels). After being electrocuted by the machine, Ryu then sees Ken as the character from SF2. Ryu then turns into E.Honda, two other characters turn into Guile and Dhalsim. Ryu finishes Ken off by... But that would be telling. In any case, the sequence is by far the most accurate and the funniest live action video game sequence put on film.
We don't know about the commercials you mentioned, but we've never heard of a live action SF movie, so we would guess that those sequences were made for the commercials.
>But exactly what movies did Disney get the rights to?
>Which movie didn't they? Nausicca? I would think they
>could buy out whoever did that terrible Warriors of the Wind
>version...
Here are the films Disney bought:
Kaze no tani no Naushika (1984) / Nausicaa of the Valley of Wind
Tenku no shiro Rapyuta (1986) / Laputa, Castle in the Sky
Majo no takkyubin (1989) / Witch's Delivery Service (Kiki)
Mononoke hime (1997) / Princess Mononoke
Heisei tanuki gassen ponpoko (1994) / Pom Poko
Kurenai no buta (1992) / Crimson Pig
Tonari no Totoro (1988) / My Neighbor Totoro
Omoide Poroporo (1991) / Only Yesterday
Mimi o sumaseba (1995) / Whisper of the Heart
We think that's all of them. The one Disney didn't get the rights to was:
Hotaru no Haka (1988) / Grave of the Fireflies (1988)
Which is available from Central Park Media. We've seen it, and it's quite good, if totally depressing. True Story: We were watching it when a friend of ours (admittedly a little emotionally inclined) walked in, watched the last five minutes, and broke into tears.
It should be noted that the deal is between Disney and Ghilbi's parent company, Tokuma, so there are many other films involved, including Shall We Dance (Disney released it last summer) and Gamera 2: Invasion of Legion.
>Well, ok, I liked it [Warriors of the Wind] when I first saw it, but then it was my
>first exposure to Miyazaki, and I didn't have much anime
>experience at all. But I certanly hope that Disney treats
>the films with more respect. I can dream, can't I?
We can hope. One part of the deal is that Disney can not cut any of the Studio Ghibli films in any way. Further more, according to Variety, Miyazaki has veto power on all aspects of Disney's release of Princess Mononoke. So long as they are all released on bilingual, close captioned LD, we will be happy and promise not to bomb Disneyworld (Just kidding! Please don't hurt us, Mr. Nice Mouse Person, please!)
About your Laputa review--nice to see you recognising the film for the wonderful film it is--but...
Two things--Disney doesn't have the rights to *two* Ghibli films, not just one. Isao Takahata's Grave of the Fireflies (which has a great subtitled release here from Central Park Media) and Mochizuki's I Can Hear the Sea. You might have pointed out as well that an OK dub of My neighbour Totoro is easy to find right now on video from Fox. (Disney does plan to redub it)
As for Ghibli being family aimed--Miyazaki's Nausicaa and especially Monokohime aren't really suitablefor 11 year olds or under. And the other Ghibli films (ie the non Miyazaki ones) are really not family films. And I doubt they'll come out here--at least until Disney has gauged the success of the Miyazaki films which by and large will be easier to market. Isao Takahata--Ghibli's co founder with Miyazaki, and one of Japan's top anime directors--tends to do purely relistic stories. His Grave of the Fireflies is unbelievably moving, disturbing and gut wrenchingly sad. His Only Yesterday is a really poignant character study about a woman coming to terms with her childhood thru remembered memories. Etc
Anyway:)
PS I enjoy your web site as a whole alot--great reviews of trash orror films to all time classics
Eric, See our comments above about Miyazaki films. We do plan to review Totoro at some point in the near future -- it's one of our favorite films and we've given copies as gifts multiple times. We just hope Disney doesn't screw up the new dub -- the Fox version is the best dub we've heard of an anime film.
We picked up copies of Kiki's Delivery Service and Only Yesterday at a convention recently, so there will probably be reviews of those as well.
Thanks for the kind words!
Actually, in footage that was cut from the movie, we find out that the blonde pilot is actually an android of some sort. So, that explains her rotten delivery, and makes her one dramatic line kind of ironic (don't you think?).
BTW, you know that one Japanese instructor who's giving a lecture in English? Could you tell me what he was saying? The accent was so thick, I was unable to make head or tail of it.
Our take on that removed scene is that the woman was actually human, but so uptight that one of the guys was trying to fool his buddy into believing that she was an android. It certainly looks like he's joking around, especially once she slaps them around. Without a translation, though, we'll never know.
We know the scene you're talking about with the lecturer, but we'll have to go back and watch it again. It didn't seem terribly important. Something about honing psychic powers (?).
Duchovny was is a REALLY embarrassing movie called The Rapture. He had long hair (really bad). He played a born-again Christian banker that dropped his sexual ways to be with Mimi Rogers. Even a nice scene with David backing out of a bed naked. I keep telling myself that's why I bought it.
The Rapture is on our ever-expanding list of films to see, along with many films that have been suggested by readers. Thanks for the tip.
By the way, if you're a reader who made a suggestion, we do intend on reviewing the movie, but it may take us a while to get to it. We have a long list, but those readers who suggested films like Silent Running and Eastern Condors know that we do eventually get around to suggested films. If it has been more than 3 or 4 months since your suggestion, feel free to remind us.
The Guys @ Stomp Tokyo
Ooooh, you guys are cool. I think there's some law against rocking *this* much. Good, literate, entertaining reviews.... who do you think you are? How dare you make the rest of us live up to this level?
I damn near broke my fingers putting up a link to your site.
Excellent work! Excelsior!
-Freeman, Cliches 'R' Us
What I want to know is what do you mean I need help because I am a fan of Meet The Feebles?:)
I am a big fan of Peter Jackson and love all his movies (strangly the only one I haven't seen is Heavnly Creatures, I have it just need to watch it). I even like his Bad Taste. Dead Alive to me is a classic. I never laugh so hard in my life through that one. I enjoy Frighteners, well alot more did you'll did, but I would agree it is not his best.
You wouldn't have any news on what he is doing next? I haven't heard. Anyway nice site, I really enjoy it. Keep up with those reviews, thanks
Peter Jackson is reportedly working on a live-action version of either The Hobbit or Lord of the Rings. There seems to be some dispute over the rights, but that's what we've heard so far.
I'm enjoying your inventive site.
I've always had a soft spot in my heart for "Capricorn One." I remember at the time noticing that O.J. Simpson was given about 10 short lines of dialogue in the entire movie. He grinned a lot and stayed in the background. What an acting talent.
I wanted to call your attention to our bad movie site. Hopefully you'll think it's worthy of a link on your site. We are The Hastings Bad Cinema Society- Honoring Hollywood's Worst Since 1978. The 20th Annual Stinkers!
We're very similar to the Razzies, but we've been doing it longer, have more categories (17 and counting) and are a heck of a lot cheaper (our $5 to their hefty $20!) Yikes, what do they think we are- rich or somethin'? Please give us a hit and see if you can offer a few nomination suggestions. Categories include "worst fake accent" (Brad Pitt, anyone?), "the sequel nobody was clamoring to see," etc. Thanks for your consideration.
Guys, you dropped the ball on your Heroic Trio review. Considering the vast film knowledge you possess, I can't see how you missed mentioning the two movies The Flying Guillotine and Master of the Flying Guillotine (AKA, The One Armed Boxer VS The Flying Guillotine) from which the "swinging guillotine-device on a chain" came from.
Admittedly, The Flying Gullotine is a horrible horrible film, but Master of the Flying Gullotine ranks up there w/ Five Deadly Venoms & Dirty Ho in the world of old HK films. Currently, the only place I know where this fine movie can be had is Sinister Cinema (http://www.cinemaweb.com/sinsister). But it is well worth the $20.
In a related note, the flying guillotine has become sort of a running sight gag in HK film, it tends to show up pretty often, usually as some sort of throwaway gag. Stephen Chow uses it a lot, most recently in Lawyer Lawyer.
Bad, Stomp Tokyo! Bad! Don't do it again! You've been a naughty website!
We admit that we didn't mention the connection between The Flying Guillotine and Number Nine's weapon in the review mainly because we have not seen either of the Flying Guillotine movies and we coundn't be totally sure it was the same device. However, we suspected it was, and Chris can attest that Scott, who is much more into HK movies, did refer to the device as the 'flying guillotine' in personal conversations.
At least something came out of our supreme stupidity, we now have a place to get old Kung Fu movies.
Hey Guys,
Found your site via Yahoo and really liked it.
Lot of trouble you go to.
I just saw a film called MASTURBATING GUNMEN. Can you guys please review it. I am dying to know what you guys would say about it. I liked it a lot but feel like a weirdo.
It is a f**kin bizarre film. One of the strangest I've ever seen. I think it's Japanese/New Zealand. It's got English name and Japanese names on the credits.
Almost a Hong Kong-style flick but almost porno too like Russ Meyer and also funny. This gunman guy stops shooting and starts beating off every time his enemies send out a naked girl to meet him. The "climax" is ridiculous but hilarious. Good fight scenes too. Like STREETFIGHTER with Sonny Chiba.
Also, did you guys see THE FULL MONTY. Really cool flick. Sort of feel-good but well done too. Great music and acting. Love to read your reviews of both these.
Great site. I'll visit every week. Keep on keeping on.
While we haven't yet seen Full Monty or Masturbating Gunmen, we'll see what we can find around the local video shops. Thanks for the recommendations!
I have read all the reviews and comments I can find on the Web for Logan's Run. LR is the absolute epitome of the mediocre, but I can't help going back to it once in a while. I think it's Jenny. It must be Jenny. That flash of skin when she strips in the ice cave has a Victorian--almost Gothic allure. Jenny's got something. (Of course, one has to remember that it is--or soon will be--Hormone Replacement Therapy, now.)
But my question is this: Is no fan or reviewer aware of the wonderful story that Logan's Run is based on? Did the authors never admit they copied it from a far better story? Has no one read Ira Levin's This Perfect Day?
Please run out to your friendly local used and rare bookstore and grab a copy. It will open your eyes like the key to the secret garden! This Perfect Day by Ira Levin is one of the best--if not THE best--futurological fiction stories ever, ever written. And most of the key ideas of Logan's Run are shamelessly lifted from it!
Grab it, read it! Imagine it with Jenny Argutter playing the lead female (there's a part in it for her!) Let me know what you think!
We haven't yet found a copy of This Perfect Day, but we're intrigued. We wonder who's got the jump on whom -- although dystopian future stories are hardly scarce.
The movie Yamato is based on an older and better movie called the Three Treasures. One big differance is no robots. Also the Hydra looks to me like it was put together from old Ghidora suits with an added horn or two.
Have you actually seen Three Treasures? If so, where? We'd love to see it. We are not totally sure which Hydra you think is made of Ghidorah suits. The Hydra in Three Treasures was a half sized puppet, and the movie came out five years before Ghidora the Three Headed Monster, so no relationship is possible. The Hydra used in Yamato Takeru was also an original creation. However, in the teaser trailers for Yamato Takeru a 1960's Ghidorah head was filmed and then manipulated by CGI to appear to be many heads, all of which could spit fire. The above information is from the Pictorial Book of Godzilla Vol. 2, an invaluable reference for any fan of Toho fantasies.
With regard to 'Rose Ces't la Vie of the Moon', I just remembered that 'Rose Selavie' (which sounds just like rose ces't la vie, oddly enough) was a pseudonym that Surrealist artist Marcel Duchamp used for the character he put on when cross-dressing.
I have no idea how this would relate to giant robots, but I thought it was somehow relevant.
Amazing! We here at Stomp Tokyo should give some kind of prize for being a really smart person. We guess all those stories we've heard about people at MIT aren't true after all :)
As it turns out, your equating of Rose Ces't la Vie with a cross dressing surrealist makes perfect sense. Ritsu, the pilot who flies Rose Ces't la Vie, is a man ashamed of the fact that he was genetically designed with the face of a woman. Now do see how this is relevant to giant robots? We are really impressed by your knowledge.
OK smart person, get cracking on the hidden meaning behinds the names Dinodilos, Lanstar, Bryst, Gallowin, Omzack and Burnstone.
Gamera rules!
Gamera does rule. Im recent Gamera news, Ebert gave Gamera: Guardian of the Universe 3 stars, and previews of it are showing up on ADVision's tapes, indicating domestic video release is coming soon. Hooray!
Well, Chris, what can I say. I thought [That Thing You Do] was a dumb movie about four dumb guys, their slightly clever manager, and their dumb girlfriend. They sang a dumb song for two interminable hours, had the potential to make a lot of money, and then screwed it up. Why? Because they were dumb guys. The only thing worse is that the radio in real life started playing the same dumb song all the time, too.
Next.
OK, OK, confession time. I have a soft spot where Tom Hanks is concerned, and although there were many better movies released this last year, I still thought it was a darned good first effort. I mean, the man used to get up in drag every week on a sitcom just to entertain me; can't I return the favor? Scott wanted to give this film a lower rating, but I bludgeoned my way up to three lava lamps.
Chris
First off, lemme say that I've been checking out your 'swell' site for almost a year now, and y'all have yet to disappoint (ignoring the review of Evita)....
Now, to fit into your busy reviewing schedule, or at least check out on your days off.......
Zapped! Again : you wouldn't believe how good this movie is, especially late at night, when you have no girlfriend, and Gilbert Gottfried is doing commercial segments every ten minutes for contrast (the actors look decent in comparison).
Fist Of The North Star : you've seen this, right? RIGHT?
Children of the Corn II : unlike the other... five?... this one is a howl all the way through. Some favorite lines include "How like a white man..." "If you catch me you can have me..." and of course the scene (I know, I know, not a line) where a man dies in church of a nosebleed.
Gremlins : more people need to watch this classic more often.
last but not least.... Dead Man : without a doubt, the WORST movie of ALL time.
And, Chris, think you could use some of that government clout to get Lolita and Mr. Bean stateside?
Darn it all, we still like Evita. We are just about ready to buy it on laserdisc out of spite.
What ever happened to that delightful Rhonda Shear? In any case we would love to, love to, mind you, see this movie and we are champing at the bit, champing we say, to rent it at the video store, but darn it all we haven't seen the first Zapped! Too bad!
We've seen the animated version of Fist of the North Star, a couple of the episodes of the TV series, and read all the comics. Now if you mean the live action movie with Gary Daniels, 'Downtown' Julie Brown, Malcolm McDowell, and Chris Penn, no, we haven't. But we figure it must be great. Here's the logic. Gary Daniels was in City Hunter with Jackie Chan. City Hunter was good movie. THEREFORE, all movies with Gary Daniels are good. No way to argue with that, eh?
Children of the Corn II: No wonder Steven King is the most popular author in America.
Gremlins: Personally, we prefer Gremlins 2.
Dead Man: Never even heard of this one.
As to Mr Bean: Chris placed a couple of calls, and Bean should be opening in November.
While I enjoy your reveiw of Lonely lady I must protest your ignoring the (Well symbolism and irony both give an illusion of depth and or thought so) Chutzpah of her marrying at the site of here near deflowering. (And nearly having to step over the damn thing) on her way to the nuptuals.
But keep up the good work
We're glad you liked the review, and we must confess that we missed that particular bit of cinematic, uh... symbolism. We must have been distracted by the pain.
I LOVE YOUR WEBSITE!
But I disagree with your review of Capricorn One. What about the reporter and Karen Black's shennanigans? They were a hoot! And the cover-up and attempted murder of Elliot Gould's character--- Talk about big brother government!
I liked some of the dialog--especially Telly Savalas' --and that red plane was flown by Frank Tallman, an aviation legend. The final "chase" scene was awesome.
C1 is one of my fave flicks, despite OJ being in it.
Hey Walt, thanks for the compliments about the website. Granted, Capricorn One is some sort of classic -- we're just not sure what kind.
I just got the workprint of Hard Target from revok.com. They were very prompt at getting me the videotape. I would recommend them. It took them about 7 days to get it to me.
The workprint is by far superior to the finished work. Different feel in certain spots due to vastly different music cues than what they ended up with. The violence is more, but not enough to warrant the NC-17 rating that Woo was threatened with.
I wholeheartedly agree with your review. Van Damme brings it down by one star, and Woo brings it up by one.
Also, though Henriksen states he wanted to be lit on fire, John Woo states that the initial take was an accident (ie. Henriksen wasn't supposed to be lit, but he just kept on acting, much to the surprise of cast and crew (watch it again to check out the surprised reactions on the actors). The scenes that are in slow motion were the ones that were refilmed, and thus 'planned'.
Thanks for the indepth review of the workprint! Now we're really thinking about getting it. Lance Henriksen has long been one of our favorite underrated actors, and this just makes us admire him more.
Your review of Erotica is behind moronic. Who was the idiot who wrote that? What world is this cheesehead on?
People never seem to tire of bashing our review of Exotica. (Not Erotica, by the way.) There's a whole page of discussion about it on a page linked from the bottom of the review.
I just noticed that you gave "Overdrawn at the Memory Bank" a rating of "three lava lampa." I realize that this was just a typo, of course, but frankly I think that "lava lampa" is a much cooler plural than "lava lamps" and you should adopt it as the official "Stomp Tokyo" standard and retro-fit it into your old reviews...
While lava lampa is indeed much cooler sounding than lava lamps, we would be stuck explaining to every reader who pointed out the mistake that it was intentional. However, in your honor, we will leave the OatMB review as-is and it'll be our little secret.
RE: Silent Running
You end your review by saying: "All this and a groovy soundtrack featuring Joan Baez!"
That might be improved to: "All this and a groovy soundtrack sung by Joan Baez and written by P.D.Q. Bach (Peter Shickele)!"
You're correct, we neglected to mention renowned composer and musicologist Peter Schickele in the review. This was also pointed out by another reader -- see his comments below.
I love good samurai films.Sword of vengeance sounds great. where can i buy these great samurai films.I also want to buy samurai films from the great Akira Kurosawa. Thank You.
To get Sword of Vengeance, just check out Animeigo's website at www.animeigo.com and look under the Samurai Cinema tab. They have the first three Lone Wolf and Cub movies for sale, as well as two other series.
There is also a distributor called Samurai Video. You can call them at (914) 357-5141. They have Zatoichi and Crimson Bat movies.
And thirdly there is Video Search of Miami. www.vsom.com
Kurosawa movies are a little tougher. We have seen new versions available of Yojimbo and Sanjuro. Beautiful prints, and letterboxed. They cost about $30 and you should be able to order them from your local Blockbuster, Suncoast, or Sam Goody. Make sure you get the letterboxed versions!
Other Kurosawa movies are available, but quality is variable. You can find Ran and Kagemusha just about anywhere, but not letterboxed. Perhaps you would have better luck with laserdisc.
Stompers,
How about a review of the Samo Hung action fiesta Eastern Condors? More must know the glories of this mind-numbing shoot-and-kick 'em up!
Eastern Condors? We'd love to see it! Unfortunately, we don't own it, and we don't where to get it. That's the rub, really (Canadian Translation: That's the rub, eh?). Last time we checked, Tai Seng video didn't even list it in their catalog. So unless you know something we don't (like where we can find a copy), it's not on our immediate list of films to review.
Perhaps there has been a new video release of this one? We were surprised a couple of weeks ago to find a cheapie version of the Sammo Hung film My Lucky Stars (though it did have the additional selling point of featuring Jackie Chan) at the local video sales store, so I guess there is hope for Eastern Condors.
Was reading your latest set of reviews. Excellent, as always. A few notes...
Regarding the "Hard Target" review...how about reviewing some of Woo's HK films? Particularly "Hard-Boiled"--it's available LBX, subtitled, on VHS. Uses the same print as the Criterion LD.
Speaking of the LD, the LD has a few nifty little extras stuck on at the end. Including a little piece on the making of "Hard Target". Complete with some interview clips of Van Damme (in _French_, subtitled, no less).
(My favorite quote from that: Jean-Claude on Woo's directorial style: "And so he establishes the feeling of the film: with a long coat, the look in his eyes. And then there's non-stop action. The French will adore me.")
Regarding Supercop: You might want to see if you can find Police Story 1. Most Chan fans agree that it's by far the best of the Police Story series. If no other way, you can find it hack-dubbed as one of the 2-for-$10 selections in one of the Jackie Chan "Rumble Packs" Even with the lousy dub, it's a heck of a bargain.
RE: Silent Running
Not only is the groovy soundtrack sung by Joan Baez, but it was composed by Peter Schickele, discoverer of P.D.Q. Bach and host of a weekly series on National Public Radio. (And it's worth mentioning that Bruce Dern is indeed the father of the groovy Laura Dern.)
Bruce Dern is the father of Laura Dern? Next you'll be telling us that Lloyd Bridges and Jeff Bridges are related!
One reader told us that the Peter Schickele-composed soundtrack was originally released on a green vinyl record. Oooooo psychedelic.
RE: Gamera and the site in general
I visit your great site every day and I'm always hoping that there will be a brand new review. Please review a new movie soon! Also, don't review stupid and "no-name" movies that no one's ever heard of.
We just can't win. We made one small foray into the world of reviewing new releases (Evita), and we got a lot of mail asking us to cut it out. Now, we aren't reviewing enough current movies! For the time being, we're pretty much going to stay the course we're on. Reviewing and being active in the shadowy world of obscure movies (The dark heart of video, we like to call it) has paid off. We have recieved mail from Tim Thomerson's relatives. As if that isn't enough, a little bird tells us that the impending video release of the British version of The Lost Continent just might have a quote from a very familiar source...
We are, however, doing our best to review at least 2 or 3 movies per week. Keep in mind that we don't make any money doing this, and sometimes the "real" world gets in the way.
I've read your review of "Gamera: Guardian of the Universe" and I must say that I thought you were better than you really are. How dare you call those lifeless losers over at that insipid show "Mystery Science Theater 3000" wits?
Wit is the abilty to reason. A wit is one who has the attribute of wit. So we think it would be hard to argue that the guys at MST3K are not wits. And we think they're pretty darn funny as well. There's a certain phenomenon that happens after something like MST3K has been "cool" for a while: people try to show how cool they are by insulting what's popular. Heck, the people at Suck have made a living out of it.
Do you have a brain in your head? The early Gamera movies were anything but cheesy.
Well, let's see. In the earlier Gamera movies, you could see the nozzle of the flame thrower in Gamera's mouth when he spat in fire. In Gamera vs. Zigra, Gamera played the Gamera theme on Zigra's back like he was a xylophone. In Gamera vs Viras, the alien spaceship seemed to be constructed from three colorful plastic balls striped like bumble bees. In Gamera vs Gyaos the military tried to kill Gyaos by getting him really dizzy. And in Gamera vs Guiron we had a monster with a knife for a head AND Gamera doing a very unlikely gymnastics routine using some of the alien buildings. Cheesy? We think so.
I am so damn sick of hearing that word cheesy. I guess the only things that you morons care about in a movie are excellent visual effects, huh? Yup, that must be it.
Movies are about the willful suspension of disbelief. Good effects can help this. As can good writing, good acting, good costume design, etc. Unfortunately, the early Gamera films had none of these. No good anything. The scripts were lazy and illogical, even for childrens' films. And most of the time the monsters had so little screen time, it hardly seemed worth it to watch the films. Our point in praising the effects of the new Gamera movie was that it's about time these giant monster movies were brought into the present, technologically and visually speaking. If you'll go back and look at our review, you'll notice that we praised the acting and writing, too.
I mean, why else would any decent film critic actually like "Jurassic Park"?
See our comments regarding the "insult what's cool" phenomenon above. Also, consider this:
The critic goes to the theater, the lights go down, the lights go up about two hours later, and if the critic was entertained in the interveneing time, the critic liked Jurassic Park. Like us.
Why don't you virgins watch good movies,
That's one hell of a personal comment to make about someone based on their opinion of Gamera movies... (Just wait till I tell my wife. -- Chris) We've also noticed that people tend to call each other celibates when they can't think of any real arguments. (See the letter from Mr Dentith below.)
like "Lawrence of Arabia", "Barry Lyndon", "Lolita", or "The Godfather" instead of making cheap, petty comments about the older, not to mention better, Gamera movies.
So, are you saying that Gamera movies are better that early Stanly Kubrick films? I suspect not. The point of our site is that just about everyone has seen Lawrence of Arabia, and just about everyone agrees that it's the best film ever on the subject of homosexual Englishmen fighting for Bedouine independence. We could write a review along those lines. But what would be the point? You could go to a hundred books and a hundred websites and get about the same review. We want to be unique.
That's right, morons, the older Gamera movies are a hell of a lot better than the newer, crappy ones. If you don't like what I have to say, well, that's tough!
Opinions are like shoulders, everyone has at least one. And probably more.
RE: Cherry 2000
It is a truly sad world when men want to choose a walking vibrator over a red-headed green-eyed milky-white-skinned babe with a big gun. And Treadwell gives E. shit, but one should overcome these things, it's called being in a relationship, you lifeless geeks. Get laid.
Dear Matthew Richard Xavier Xander Xanthias Dentith,
We're sorry your world is so sad. Are you a psychologist, that you are able to diagnose our social lives on the basis of one review?
Our point is that Melanie Griffith and her character were so insipid that even the "walking vibrator" was preferable. By no means did we want to say that android lovers are better than the real thing. Why, just the other day we tried an android lover, and found it lacking in the social graces. Imagine, it used the salad fork for dessert! Plus, you have to recharge the batteries every three hours! What a gyp!
Perhaps we need to point out that this is a movie. And as such we were talking about a work of fiction. Applying this to real life (or these real live reviewers) is a game for soldiers. If you have a problem with the review, your point would be better served by refuting our statements than by attacking us poor "lifeless geeks."
Thanks for the thoughtful response.
RE: Logan's Run
hey, good review on LR. i always thought this was an underrated film, some cliches aside. some of the effects are very nice indeed, and i always loved the sandmens' costumes and especially their weapons, which didn't shoot "rays".
the only thing i think you left out was the wonderful score by JERRY GOLDSMITH. and this ties nicely back into PLANET OF THE APES, again.
and although filming in a shopping mall may seem kinda cheesy, i always thought it fit right in that the whole city was suppossed to be shopping mall like in the first place, with everybody just hanging out and buying stuff. all play, no work.
you're on the mark as well as this being the last of the 70's hollywood "dark" SF films. STAR WARS (through no fault of it's own) marked the end of this golden age of pessimistic SF film (THX 1138/SOYLENT GREEN/COLLOSUS: THE FORBIN PROJECT/ANDROMEDA STRAIN/ZARDOZ/PHASE FOUR/SILENT RUNNING and some other classics i'm forgetting) to replace it almost completely with no-brainer effects films.
the 70's has always been my favorite decade for SF filmmaking, and LR, while not perfect, was a very good denouement to that era.
You're right, the music was excellent, and the special effects, while not what we're used to these days, certainly were innovative for the time. We love the "surrogation" holograms at the end. Your points about the "dumbing down" of science fiction films certainly seem to hold true in this day and age of Independence Day and the like.
Those interested in finding out more about Logan's Run can check out the Highly Unofficial Logan's Run FAQ.
RE: Logan's Run
you didn't even mention the mirrored robot in the ice cave
Well, we don't want to give everything away, now do we? Besides, the robot gets what, ten minutes of screen time? Maybe?
RE: Nighthawks
I liked this B movie, myself. Have watched it several times. Always liked Rutger Hauer; his make-up is great (fooled me into thinking it was a different actor that played Wulfgar after plastic surgery!). Another thing that interested me was the appearance of a porno actor (can't think of his name) in a scene with Lindsay Wagner and Stallone; it made me wonder if Stallone who made a porno fil early in his career, owed something to somebody in the adult fil business.
We don't know about Stallone "owing" someone in the adult film business (certainly not by the time this film was made -- Rocky had made him a star several times over), but Sly did definitely work in the adult film industry. The film is called A Party at Kitty & Stud's, made in 1970 and re-released as The Italian Stallion in 1985, the same year that Rocky IV and Rambo II came out.
The original film is apparently available from JEF Films, 143 Hickory Hill Circle, Osterville, MA 02655. (508) 428-7198. The above information was gleaned from an article in the book Biggest Secrets by William Poundstone.
How could you bash helen hunt??? Who are YOU anyways?
Who are we? We're SO glad you asked.
We're the guys who had to sit through Trancers 1, 2, and 3. While nearly anyone looks good next to Tim Thomerson, Hunt managed to show her inexperience in the first two films, and her desire to move on to better parts in the third.
See our reply to the next letter concerning the Great Hunt Debate. All of our mixed feelings about Ms Hunt are revealed there.
I read with great amusement, you review of TRANCERS. I too find the rock bottom production values and cornball dialogue to be just as fun as they were laughable. I was surprised that you failed to mention the most innovative moment in TRANCERS: The Long Second! That was the only truly original scene in the film and was generally well done.
Unfortunately, I was a bit dismayed by your comments on Helen Hunt. Yes, she has had her teeth fixed and yes, she has either had breast implants or gone on the pill, but to say she was cheaper than a real actor is a bit much. She might have been young and rough around the edges, but she was certainly capable. And now she has a carreer that is going therough the roof, thanks to her acting talent.
Also: That boom mike you refered to is only visible because TRANCERS was shot in an open matted 1.33:1, 35mm format that would be masked on the top & bottom for theatrical presentations. The video transfer simply removed the mattes, since zooming in would cut off the sides.
As for TRANCERS 2 and 3... You really nailed em! They are so incredibly bad, they're good. I've watched them a few times with friends and they never fail to get huge, unintentional, laughs.
Yes, we enjoyed the film innovation that was the Long Second. It brought to our minds the question: if you can send stuff back to the past, why not send 10 or 12 Long Second Watches back to Deth? And what if he drops the watch during the Long Second? Does he get stuck, like in that episode of the Twilight Zone? Also, it's a great setup for the "screwed-up technology" gag in Trancers 4.
We have very mixed feelings about Helen Hunt. One of us thinks that Helen Hunt is a complete babe, with that girl-next-door yumminess about her. The other one of us wants to know what neighborhood the first one lives in. The first one, whom we'll call Chris, thinks that Hunt has certainly grown into a fine actress from some rather humble beginnings. The other one, whom we'll call Scott, just doesn't see it. The debate rages on. Perhaps we'll write a point-counterpoint essay about this sometime. Till then, we *do* agree that Hunt delivered a less than stellar performance in the Trancers films.
Your boom mike observation poses the following problems: Charles Band makes his money from the video releases of his Full Moon films. Given that, you would think they would shoot keeping the television ratios in mind. Even so, that boom mike was well inside the shot, and may even have been visible in the theatrical version (called "Futurecop," we think). However, Band is in some good company, considering the other cameos boom mikes have made, in such films as "Interview With The Vampire" (the video release), a good example of what you're talking about.
> I've watched them a few times with friends
You watched them more than once? On purpose? May we suggest a good therapist?
I truly enjoyed your honest reviews willing to accept minor faults like camera booms in the final cut. i recently watched Siskel and Ebert with a friend and we laughed out asses off. They are turly running out of things to say. The Fat one(I forget which one is which) said, "if you have a mother you will enjoy this film." Now I don't mean to be mean but don't most people have mothers? Just in general mind you. Not that aren't some pretty nice genetically recreated clones running around...... But this is kinda general.
Also, how did you see Godzilla vs King Ghidorah if it wasn't released in the U.S.?
Thanks for your kind words, Cronan. Perhaps now would be a good time to mention what we think of some of the mainstream critics. We happen to like the Fat One... Excuse us, Roger Ebert. His current reviews can be found at http://www.suntimes.com/ebert/ebert.html. We also like Peter Travers of Rolling Stone magazine. At the other end of the spectrum is the smuggest man in the business, Leonard Maltin. He gave Blade Runner 1 and 1/2 stars. In the same edition of his book, he gave Laserblast 2 and 1/2 stars. We'll let you be the judge of whether or not that's just. And the absolute bottom of the barrel is Michael Medved, who wrote the ridiculous book Hollywood vs America. Read it and weep.
Now on to the Godzilla question.
Toho (the studio behind Godzilla) has so far declined to release Godzilla vs King Ghidorah in the US. Of course, if Toho doesn't want to make money, that's their own business. And seeing as how Godzilla is the intellectual property
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of Toho, we could never advocate any illegal acquisition of Godzilla movies. So you could order the import laserdisc. Or you could try to find the PAL release from Britain. However, if you decide to disregard our advice, you could check out the folowing sources:
Showcase Collectables at http://rampages.onramp.net/~showcase/
Revok Film Prodigies at http://www.wp.com/69031/revok.html
Or Club Daikaju at
PO Box 1614
Fort Lee, NJ 07024
Cheesy Godzilla Jr. marionette in Destroyer? What marionette? I thought Jr. was one of the only good things about that movie! You must be thinking about those little destroyer bumper cars. You forgot to mention two things: a) the lil furry bats that got turned into King Ghidorah were adorable. I want a stuffed Dorat for Christmas. and b) not all the Western actors were bad. That dude who played the leader of the Futurefolk was actually pretty bad. Meaning evil, like, cool.
Hey, your site looks like real promising. I like your style. This kinda fun stuff is what the web should be about. Peace.
To address your points in a numbered fashion:
1) The Godzilla Jr. marionette shows up in Godzilla vs. Destroyah when Godzilla reaches Tokyo, right after Junior has apparently caused Destroyah to dissipate. The model (after consulting our Pictorial History of Godzilla 2, we can not verify it was a marionette) is used because Godzilla and Junior are supposed to be such radically different sizes. Here are the model's time-indexed appearances:
1:14:02 Puppet first appears
1:17:30 Moves towards Godzilla
1:17:41 Close-up of it moving. Legs do not move.
The last one is particularly heinous. The model appears to roll to get out of the way of Destroyah's blast. And yes, the little rolling aggregate Destroyah model used in the movie were pretty bad. However, we enjoyed the movie quite a bit overall.
2) The Drats (or Dorats. It's a translation thing.) are very cute. And you know, we've never seen any models or stuffed animals based on them. We wonder why that is.
3) The actor playing Wilson, a.k.a. the Futurian who can act, was Chuck Wilson, an American living in Japan who specializes in playing the 'American' in various Japanese TV and movie projects. Most of the other American actors in Godzilla movies, such as Dr. Asimov (Leo Mangetti) in Godzilla vs. MechaGodzilla, are corporate lawyers or such, in Japan on business, who are cast because they have the right look for a given role.
You know, I really enjoy this newsgroup. I swear I'm always in the "Hot Singles" section of Blockbuster (I work there now so I'm now the enemy) and I rent tons of b-movies. As a matter of fact, tonight I rented Carnosaur 3 (Carnosaur 1 and 2 weren't half bad) Anyway, can The Lonely Lady be any more painful than watching Manos, Hands of Fate.
So what did you think of Carnosaur 3: Primal Species? We have seen Carnosaur, and were not sufficiently impressed for us to rush and get the sequels. Who knows? We do have a strange urge to go rent Carnosaur 3: Primal Species.
As to Lonely Lady vs. Manos, The Hands of Fate, the quick answer is that Lonely Lady is much more painful that Manos, The Hands of Fate. Sure, Manos, The Hands of Fate is bad, but it has no pretense of being a real movie. It was financed by a fertilizer magnate, and features no real actors. And a lot of the time, it's no so much bad as just plain boring. The ten minutes of footage shot from a car window at the beginning comes to mind.
On the other hand, The Lonely Lady is a 'real' movie. It has Hollywood production values. It stars Pia Zadora, who won a Golden Globe a couple of years before. It has Ray Liotta, who would later star in Scorsese film. And has a fairly coherent script. It also bombards the viewer with repulsive scene after repulsive scene, all in the name of, I dunno, blowing the lid off the Hollywood system.
The difference then, is the difference between opening a Christmas present and finding nothing inside but stuffing (Manos, The Hands of Fate), and opening a Christmas present and getting bit by the rattlesnake inside (The Lonely Lady).
Hey guys, just wanted to say that your site is a great idea and very well-designed too.
Also, the one review that I read, "Twins of Evil," was well-written. And I thought that using lava lamps instead of stars was a cool idea. I found you through a link on the Internet Movie Data Base.
If you're curious, you can check out my website, The Orlando Reporter (http://home.earthlink.net/~benmark/).
Take care and keep up the good work.
We've long been fans of the lava lamp -- it seemed a natural.
Thanks for taking an interest in our page. Please check back, we're only getting started!
Michael Barry takes exception to our review of Exotica on the Exotica discussion page.
How can you call yourself Stomp Tokyo with no reviews of anything stomping Tokyo?!
We're glad you asked. The first review of a movie in which Tokyo gets stomped will be released this week. Stop by the site on the night of 12/18 to see which one it will be.
In the meantime, we do have a review of Pia Zadora stomping on her lines and chewing the scenery. Does that count?
To which Wolf replies:
Does Pia Zadora have radioactive halitosis?
I didn't think so.
Don't be so sure, bub.
Great job guys. I've seen several of the movies you reviewed and agreed with the vast majority of your opinions. Keep them coming!
Oh, if only I could have read your review of Exotica before I rented it. I too was taken in by the critical praise. What an expensive piece of trash!
If there's anything you're considering renting and want us to review, Brian, just let us know. If we can find it, we'll rent it. After seeing The Lonely Lady, we can watch anything.
I have to admit, I usually don't go to web pages where people have advertised them in tangentially-related newsgroups and said themselves that they are "cool". (Hey, I worked all day, it's late, and I don't have to follow the rules of grammar.) But I really like reading movie reviews -- often more than watching the movies themselves -- and I gotta say it:
Cool site, guys.
We're glad you like it. We don't know what we were thinking when we called ourselves cool; it's completely out of character. We'll be sure to give ourselves thirty lashes, or at least a good poke in the eye.