STARRING: Ellen Burstyn, Linda Blair, Max Von Sydow and Jason Miller

Happy Birthday to me. Happy Birthday to me. Happy Birthday, dear Filmboy. Happy Birthday to me.

It was late September last year when I penned my first review as "Filmboy." Since that time, a lot of movies have flickered across my hometown movie screen. Some good. Some bad. Some so awful they could change your religious beliefs. I’ve had a lot of fun over the past year. I hope you’ve enjoyed reading this stuff as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Now, let’s start this second year off with a movie that I thought I’d never see, let alone review:

THE EXORCIST!

As I’ve said before, I’m not a huge fan of horror movies. While my pre-teen pals we’re sneaking into the "Friday the 13^th" movies, I was probably watching "Pete’s Dragon." Yeah, I’m that big of a wuss. Over the years, I’ve developed an appreciation for the artistry behind a good scary movie. I’ve even been courageous enough to see a few. It’s just not my favorite way to spend an evening.

I prefer the paranoid suspense of "The Blair Witch Project" to the gross-out splendor of "The Evil Dead" films. Being a big chicken hasn’t really endeared me to my Stomp Tokyo compatriots. Having been weaned on monsters, zombies and all kinds of brain-munching badness, they have a hard time comprehending that I was actually unnerved by "What Lies Beneath."

Blair's wholesome looks help make her ultimate transformation even more frightening.

Lately, my cohorts have taken it on themselves to help me conquer my fears. It hasn’t always been pleasant, but in the last year I’ve seen "Halloween," "The Evil Dead" and "Piranha." They’ve also enlisted my girlfriend in their nefarious plan. There’s nothing like the threat of looking like a big weenie in front of your woman to motivate you.

It was her idea to go see "The Exorcist." She’s been after me to see it for more than a year. We were having this conversation about the movies that really scared us as children. She told me how she saw "The Exorcist" when she was five and it completely wigged her out. Her mom had to convince her that she’d been christened just so she could fall asleep that night.

I confessed that I’d never seen the film, but the movies that had terrified me as a child were equally chilling. There were those freaky Oompa Loompas in "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory" and the flying monkeys in the "Wizard of Oz." I also used to hide behind the couch any time the guys from Kiss were on TV. "Detroit Rock City" still makes me cry like a little girl. When she stopped laughing, she told me I had to see "The Exorcist."

We rented the tape a couple months ago, but I couldn’t make it through the introductory featurette. Even the "behind the scenes" stuff was giving me the willies. I put the tape back in its case and returned it to the video store. But I promised that I would see the movie some day. I vowed that if it ever returned to theaters, I’d be the first one in line.

Damn.

That’s how a self-confessed scaredy-cat like myself wandered into the multiplex recently to watch the re-release of what some call "the scariest movie ever made." I must admit, it’s a really great film. Strong performances, a thought-provoking story, amazing special effects (all accomplished before the advent of CGI) and some genuinely bone-chilling moments. It’s probably one of the best movies ever made.

I hope I never see it again.

"The Exorcist" messed me up, but good. Unlike audiences watching it for the first time in 1973, I was well aware of what was in store when the lights dimmed. I braced myself for the pea soup vomit and the head-spinning and that nasty business with the crucifix. Even so, the images were still disturbing. I watched most scenes with my face half-covered. What’s truly amazing about this film is its ability to still shock you almost 30 years after its initial release. Very few movies have that kind of power.

Perhaps it’s because this film uses grotesque visuals to support its story rather than the other way around. Most filmmakers today would rather we experience their movies more like a theme park ride than a work of art. They want to goose us with a quick scare and then send us on our way. It’s the rare film these days that draws you into an engrossing story with characters worth caring about. "The Exorcist" is so effective because it lets us get to know these people before sucking us into their collective nightmare.

I doubt there are many of you that aren’t aware of this film’s basic premise, but I’ll elaborate for those unenlightened few. Regan McNeil, a 12 year-old girl (an apple-cheeked Linda Blair), becomes possessed by Satan and requires the services of an exorcist (Max Von Sydow from "Snow Falling on Cedars" and "Flash Gordon") to drive out the evil spirits. He is aided by a priest undergoing a crisis of faith (Playwright and actor Jason Miller in his screen debut) and the girl’s mother (Ellen Burstyn from "The Spitfire Grill" and the upcoming "Requiem for a Dream").

Max Von Sydow may play the title character, but Karras is the true hero of this story.

While the cast is exceptional, director William Friedkin ("The French Connection" and "The Rules of Engagement") and screenwriter William Peter Blatty (who won an Oscar for adapting his own novel) should get most of the praise for bringing this unique and frightening film to life. Friedkin and Blatty let the movie unwind slowly, letting the terror build one scene at a time. Once they unleash the beast living within this little girl, there’s no turning back. You’re caught inside this arcane spectacle whether you like it or not.

Friedkin’s choice to keep the camera tricks to a minimum — I think the only camera movement is a tracking shot up the stairs to Regan’s room — gives the film a "real world" look that makes scary scenes that much more horrifying. This new edition boasts digital sound and restores 11 minutes of footage, which was originally trimmed before the film’s debut. Restored scenes include a lengthy medical examination of Blair when she first starts exhibiting odd behavior and dialogue between Von Sydow and Miller following their first attempts at an exorcism.

The addition of the latter scene gives added depth to the film as the two priests discuss the eternal struggle between good and evil, God and Satan. It helps elevate the movie above a standard horror flick. Most people think of "The Exorcist" as a film about the devil, but it is also very much a movie about God. You can’t have ultimate evil without ultimate good.

This scene also helps further develop Miller’s character, Father Karras. While the film’s graphic moments are unforgettable, the storyline about this priest’s spiritual struggle is equally fascinating. Miller plays Karras as a weary soldier, conflicted over his vows to God and his own doubts. His role in the exorcism saves his soul as much as it does Regan’s. Max Von Sydow may play the title character, but Karras is the true hero of this story.

Miller’s performance is extremely compelling and he received a well-deserved Oscar nomination for it. After this film, he did a number of other movies, including "The Ninth Configuration" (directed by Blatty) and that Michael J. Fox rock band flick "Light of Day." He is probably best known today as the father of actor Jason Patric ("The Lost Boys" and "Your Friends and Neighbors.") Miller’s powerful work in this film is just one example of an extremely talented ensemble.

"The Exorcist" messed me up, but good.

Blair is also extraordinary as Regan. Make-up and special effects certainly give her performance a boost, but Blair is still at the heart of this character. Sometimes it’s hard to comprehend that she was only 14 years old when they made this movie. Her wholesome looks help make her ultimate transformation even more frightening. Blair surrenders completely to this part — an outstanding feat for any actor, but especially for a teenager. She was awarded an Oscar nomination for her effort, too.

The role will probably be known as her crowning achievement. She went on to do solid work in a handful of TV movies, but had a pretty unremarkable screen career following "The Exorcist" — unless you consider "Airport ’75" and "Roller Boogie" cinematic masterpieces. By the early nineties, she was lampooning her most famous part in the forgettable comedy "Repossessed." She currently has a recurring role on a kid’s comedy show on the Fox Family Channel.

Von Sydow and Burstyn are also very good — she got an Oscar nod as well, but she cries a little too much for my taste — but this film’s other great performance isn’t even onscreen. Mercedes McCambridge ("Giant") does her devilish best as the voice of the demonic Regan. She apparently achieved this effect through gratuitous smoking, a few shots of whiskey and some raw eggs. If anyone ever sounded like Hell, it would be McCambridge. The movie wouldn’t be the same without her.

I can’t compare the two versions since I’ve never seen the original, but I think this new edition will intrigue fans old and new. Check it out and judge for yourself. If you’ve only seen "The Exorcist" on video, you’re in for a treat (or is it a shock?). The movie made me jump and scream and hide my face, but in the end, it was worth it. I’m glad that I got to experience this masterpiece on the big screen. In hindsight, I guess it wasn’t that scary. Linda Blair could have been playing a girl possessed by an Oompa Loompa.