Miss me?

I guess you’ve noticed that I haven’t posted any new reviews in awhile. At least I hope you’ve noticed. Otherwise, why am I writing this stuff? Anyway, I have a really good excuse:

I’ve been busy.

Yes, the old reliable "I’ve been busy." It also works for not sending Christmas cards, not returning phone calls and not cleaning my house. But this time, I really, REALLY mean it.

I started a new job a few months ago and ever since, my time has not been my own. No need to bore you with the petty details, but it involves Martians, Omar Sharif, a horde of house pets and a very big microscope. I kept thinking things would calm down long enough for me to catch up on my reviews, but no such luck. Here we are almost six months later and I still feel like I’m downhill skiing in front of an avalanche.

Since the work thing is not going anywhere, I need to change a few things here in order to get back on track. When I started Filmboy, my goal was to be the guy in the Stomp Tokyo bullpen that was giving you the scoop on the latest cinematic offerings. As you can see, I’ve been a bit remiss in those duties.

The big challenge with these reviews has always been staying timely. I catch a sneak preview here and there and occasionally a press screening (Thank you, Enzian Theatre!), but for the most part, I’m standing in line on opening weekend like the rest of you. Usually the earliest I can post a review is the Monday after a big premiere. Add a demanding work schedule and it gets even later.

Since I’m deluded enough to think that you’re reading because you actually enjoy my writing and not just reviews of new releases, I’m changing some things in order to generate fresh content a little faster. New releases will still be my bread and butter, but you’ll probably see a video or DVD review pop up every now and again. Prepare yourself for more columns where I wax philosophical about movies in a certain genre like I recently did with "A Filmboy Christmas."

And while I’d love to crank out 1,000 words on every movie I see, there’s just no time. Then again, do you really want that many words dedicated to "Dude, Where’s My Car?" To be honest, there’s never been enough time to put down thoughts on every movie. For each Filmboy review, there are about three flicks that I just didn’t get around to doing. In an effort to correct that oversight, I’m going to start posting several short reviews instead of one long one.

The lengthy review has not gone bye-bye. There will be a couple every month, but hopefully, shorter reviews will help me stay more consistent. It was hard coming to this decision. I’m a big fan of girth, but I’m a bigger fan of producing regular content. It’s still the same Filmboy you’ve come to know and love, just now in the handy economy size! And like my girlfriend always says, "size isn’t everything."

She’s being honest, right?

So, dear readers, this column marks a new beginning in the annals of Filmboydom (Filmboyhood?). The following are my condensed reviews of the flicks I’ve seen lately. Consider them "Filmboy Lite — half the calories of a regular review with that same great taste!" Okay, that’s the last time I quote advertising slogans. Here are the reviews. Enjoy:

STARRING: Jason Biggs, Steven Zahn, Jack Black and Amanda Peet

Jason Biggs ("American Pie") plays a sweet doofus who falls under the spell of uber-bitch Amanda Peet ("The Whole Nine Yards," WB’s "Jack & Jill"). It’s up to his best buds, Steve Zahn ("That Thing You Do") and Jack Black ("High Fidelity"), to save him from marrying the wrong girl and seeing his manhood displayed on the mantle like a bowling trophy.

Even though I loved Biggs in "American Pie," he’s a big dork in this flick. He’s too much of a wuss to even care about while Peet is so nasty you wonder why he’s even interested in her. Okay, she is a babe, but even that wouldn’t hold up in the face of such esteem-crippling brutality. The movie is saved by Zahn and Black, who are a joy to watch in every scene. These guys make me laugh.

This is a very silly movie. A little too slapstick for my taste, but it has its moments. Biggs, Zahn and Black play in a Neil Diamond cover band and the sight of the three of them in hair helmets and sequined shirts is a big smile. A cameo by "Mr. Heartlight" in the big finale is also worth a few chuckles.

STARRING: Brad Pitt, Benicio del Toro, Dennis Farina, and Jason Statham

Writer/director Guy Ritchie’s follow-up to "Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels" is another violent and darkly funny ode to London lowlife. A stolen diamond finds its way into many hands — from thief Benicio del Toro ("Traffic") to down-on-his-luck boxing manager Jason Statham ("Lock, Stock . . .") to fence Dennis Farina ("Get Shorty") — causing all manner of hijinks along the way.

Ritchie has a fun, kinetic visual style, a good eye for casting and a great ear for soundtrack music. The actors’ accents are hard to understand at first, but you get used to it. The story is a little slight, bouncing around here there and everywhere, but works with the movie’s overall vibe. Ritchie has done a great job mixing humor with violence while not overpowering either element. The boxing scenes are fun to watch and there’s a hungry dog that steals the show.

The film’s biggest success is making Brad Pitt funny. He plays an Irish Gypsy bare-knuckle boxer with an accent so thick, you can barely tell what he’s saying. Of course, the whole joke is you’re not supposed to know what he’s saying. Pitt has a blast with the role, grunging it up in a welcome departure from his pretty boy persona. Sometimes big Hollywood stars stick out in an ensemble cast, but Pitt looks right at home. Let’s hope he stays dirty. Clean Brad is really boring.

STARRING: William H. Macy, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Alec Baldwin and Sarah Jessica Parker

David Mamet (writer/director of "The Spanish Prisoner," writer of "Glengarry Glen Ross") is known for razor-sharp dialogue, complex characters and morally ambiguous storylines. Who knew he could also crack me up? Most of Mamet’s movies contain funny lines — usually of the cynical variety — but I never considered him a yukmeister.

"State and Main," Mamet’s satire about a Hollywood film crew descending on a small Vermont town, made me laugh out loud. This flick, not counting "Meet the Parents," is the funniest movie I’ve seen in awhile. The writer/director has assembled an incredible cast — including William H. Macy ("Fargo") as the beleaguered director; Philip Seymour Hoffman ("Almost Famous") as the anxious screenwriter; and Alec Baldwin as the lunkhead star (who hasn’t been this good in years) — and they do him proud.

If "The Player" nailed Hollywood on its home turf, then "State and Main" captures the dream factory on location. The script skewers the business of filmmaking while also delivering a highly enjoyable comedy of errors. It’s great to see Hoffman play someone besides a creepy loser. His attempts to keep his screenplay ("It’s about purity") untarnished by the Hollywood machine will resonate with every unproduced screenwriter (It did with me anyway).

STARRING: Michael Douglas, Benicio del Toro, Catherine Zeta-Jones and Don Cheadle

After helming three amazing films in a row ("Out of Sight," "The Limey" and "Erin Brockovich"), director Steven Soderbergh ambitiously takes on this engrossing saga, which examines the drug trade. The movie follows three storylines simultaneously: a Mexican cop (Benicio del Toro from "Snatch") trying to stop the flow of drugs over the border; the US drug czar (Michael Douglas from "Wonder Boys") fighting the war stateside; and a rich suburban wife (Catherine Zeta-Jones from "Mask of Zorro"), who’s idyllic life is shattered when her husband is arrested for drug trafficking.

Soderbergh and screenwriter Stephen Gaghan ("Rules of Engagement") pay close attention to each storyline and give time for every member of the massive cast to shine. "Traffic" is a great film, but be prepared. This is no light-hearted romp. The movie clocks in at almost three hours and the subject matter is unrelenting. Such an important topic certainly deserves to be explored in depth, but not at the consequence of the movie’s pacing.

The third act drags and there are definitely moments when the filmmakers want you to know that you’re watching AN IMPORTANT FILM. Even with its turgid length and preachy moments, the movie is worthy of its five Oscar nominations (Best Picture, Director, Supporting Actor, Editing and Adapted Screenplay). "Traffic" is extremely well directed (Soderbergh also served as his own cinematographer), well-written and well-acted (more than del Toro should have been nominated).