STARRING: Robin Williams, Embeth Davidtz, Oliver Platt, Sam Neill

The special effects in "Bicentennial Man" are really good. That's the best thing I can say about this Hallmark card masquerading as a movie. A loose adaptation of some classic Isaac Asimov stories, this film illuminates a robot's 200 year-old quest to become human. The entire production is immersed in schmaltz by Director Chris Columbus (who unleashed Macauley Culkin on this world in "Home Alone"). Columbus has seen the future and it has all the manufactured emotion of a Brady Bunch Christmas special.

Columbus, writer Nicholas Kazan ("Reversal of Fortune" and "Matilda") and star Robin Williams have good intentions, but they never delve deep enough to make us care about this character or his journey. Scenes feel like they end before they achieve any emotional pay-off. Williams' robot, Andrew, has been wired with a desire to become more than just a high-tech household appliance. The story consists of his struggle to transcend his robotic beginnings. Williams plays Andrew with the pr